"I Feel Fine"

MANNERS & MORALS

August Simolke was never one for dramatics. He was 67, tall, skinny, bald and unassuming. He had been married for 44 years, had fathered 11 children. He worked in a Chicago baby furniture factory, and was a good provider for his worried-looking 62-year-old wife, Jennie. Nevertheless, last summer, August Simolke did quite a dramatic thing--after a quarrel with his foreman, he walked off his job and vanished.

Months went by. Nobody saw August Simolke. But finally last autumn, one of his sons-in-law read that the body of a man was lying unclaimed at the city morgue. He investigated. He hurried back, brought Jennie and others of the family. They identified the body instantly. There were two unmistakable red dots on his face, and the second finger of his left hand was twisted as it had always been.

The family took the body home, held a wake and a $996 funeral, including $15 for a ringing ministerial eulogy. Last week the family had cause to regret its lavishness. The sons & daughters had started getting cards signed "Dad" from Corrigan's Lumber Camp, Upson, Wis. Startled, two sons got in their car, drove to Upson, found August comfortably curled up on a logging-camp bunk.

He flatly refused to return home. He also refused to pay for the funeral. "Look," he said, as his baffled sons tried to guess whom they had buried, "I've had all my teeth out. My plates fit. I feel fine. After 44 years I got tired of living with Jennie. This is the life!"

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