Keepsake. In Weatherford, Tex., Bank President Fred Smith explained how two Arkansas bank robbers happened to have a crowbar inscribed "Citizens National Bank, Weatherford, Tex.": the crowbars were distributed as souvenirs three years ago "but we never thought they would be put to such use . . ."

In the Family. In Tucson, Ariz., when August Holish complained that local police were too inefficient in tracking down hit & run drivers, Police Captain Frank Keefe went to work and nabbed the motorist who had left the scene of an accident the month before: Mrs. August Holish.

Test Case. In Renton, Wash., explaining that he did not want to knock at a neighbor's door to see if his brother and sister were inside, Roy M. Redfield, 18, admitted setting fire to the barn "so I could tell when everyone ran out."

Hearth & Home. In Manhattan, Mrs. Betty Jo Hill, suing for alimony, told the court that her husband "ignored me completely and devoted himself exclusively to watching the television programs." In Denver, police learned that Private Sam Fowler, hospitalized with a bullet wound in his hip, had criticized his wife's cooking; she took five shots at him with a .38 revolver. In Vancouver, B.C., Mrs. Constance McLeod got a divorce after testifying that her husband bit a piece out of their marriage certificate and threatened to make her eat the rest.

Added Injury. In Pasadena, Thomas S. Cabo, pinned under his car when it rolled back on him, was taken to the hospital, where Policeman James E. Corrigan served him with one ticket for illegal parking, another for having failed to set his brakes.

Q. & A. In Little Rock, the Arkansas Vital Statistics Bureau was asked to file a birth certificate which listed the mother's occupation as "cotton and children," the father's occupation as "jest settin'."

Kennel & Couch. In Los Angeles, after Mrs. Frances McDermott's 180-lb. great Dane bit her, she ordered the dog destroyed, then relented when the animal shelter suggested that she have the beast psychoanalyzed.

New Era. In Deerfield, Wis., within a week after his marriage, Editor Harland Everson's Independent ran an ad over his name: "For Sale ... 42 corncob pipes, 1 Home Brew outfit complete . . . 1 address book . . ."

Made Work. In Fort William, Ont., Charles Mathew explained why he had started a forest fire: he only wanted a job putting it out.

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