Forgotten Lode. In Salida, Colo., American Legionnaires, gleeful over the discovery of radioactive ore in the fireplace of their post, stopped crowing when they were reminded that they did not know where the rocks had come from.

Erosion Process. In Long Beach, Calif., two policemen checking a stolen-car report found the automobile parked in front of the owner's home, listened calmly while she explained, "I guess the rain washed it clean--I didn't recognize it."

Clipped. In Superior, Wis., Harry Griffin pleaded guilty to theft, explained that he thought the new price of $1 for a haircut must include the hair clippers.

The Last, Full Measure ... In Middletown, N.Y., a patriotic citizen, after drinking two quarts of blackberry wine and half a quart of gin every week to help ease the water shortage, complained bitterly that the State Tax Bureau had rejected the deduction on his income-tax return.

Temporary Job. In Pittsburgh, Nightclub Doorman Herbert Gibbs began a year's jail sentence for taking over a patron's car on his first day on the job, not parking it until he reached the outskirts of Cleveland.

Hothead. In Socorro, N. Mex., Gabe Monlia, vexed by his mother-in-law's interference in his married life, admitted burning her house down.

The Departed. In Tokyo, Riichi Sakuma, arrested for stealing 22 kimonos and a bag of rice, testily told police, "You can't do this to a dead man," divulged that he had deserted his home two years ago, had had a nice funeral last May.

Category. In San Pedro Sula, Honduras, National Police announced that sleep, like alcohol, is dangerous to motorists and, consequently, "it is positively prohibited to drive vehicles to all ... who can fall asleep while the car is in motion."

Dismissal. In Memphis, revenuers, running down a moonshine tip, lost their case when the evidence--a gallon jug hidden in a stove--exploded under their noses.

Out of Position. In Douglas, Ga., County Commissioner Noah Holton patiently wrote a Montana woman that Coffee County was not "where the coffee comes from," and therefore he could not do much about the high price.

Tough All Over. In Indianapolis, a thug aimed a shattering blow at Charles Plake's midriff, connected with the plaster cast Plake was wearing for a back injury, fled empty-and sore-handed.

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