Rare Air. In Choisy-le-Roi, France, Maurice Fonctionnaz, charged with stealing a horse, explained to the court that he had only done it to help his whooping cough and asthma: "On a horse I'm a little higher than usual, and that lets me breathe."

Wolf's Clothing. In Milwaukee, Arthur M. Sells, voted "Second Biggest Wolf" by his Princeton class ('50), sheepishly revealed that he was already married.

Blind Alley. In Memphis, Mrs. Mildred E. Jennings, seeking a second divorce from Floyd T. Jennings, declared that she had remarried him in 1949 "solely for the purpose of preventing him from annoying" her.

One Foot in Heaven. In Las Vegas, Nev., Henry Albert Beebe, arrested for illegal possession of four boxes of morphine syringes, told police he was trying to sell the stuff to pay his tuition through Bible school.

Clean Sweep. In London, thieves broke into the Avenue Hotel, made off with 4,800 cigarettes, 140 bottles of liquor, a radio set, the watchdog.

Due Caution. In Dansville, N.Y., a classified advertisement appeared in the Dansville Breeze: WANTED--Farmer, age 38, wishes to meet woman around 30 who owns a tractor. Please enclose picture of tractor.

Instrument of Fate. In Paris, Fortuneteller Juliette Pialat, jailed for hitting her husband on the head with a club, explained: "I had read in the cards that my husband would suffer a heavy blow."

Constitutionalist. In Buffalo, Democratic County Clerk Steven Pankow explained why he had bought $125 worth of tickets for the Erie County Republican Committee's yearly outing: "I believe in the two-party system."

No Change of Pace. In Seattle, Mrs. Maureen A. McGuire was granted a divorce after she complained that her husband had "made life unbearable" by continually psychoanalyzing her.

Voice of the People. In Atlanta, Paul Lee Miller, booked for impersonating an officer, told police that he felt entitled to wear a badge because he was once "almost elected sheriff" in Oak Ridge, Tenn.

Segregation. In Milwaukee, Manager Arnold Brumm of the Ritz theater announced that on Monday evenings, to be known henceforth as "Dignity Nights," people who insist on eating peanuts, popcorn or candy during the show will be asked to sit in a special section.

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