The Criminal Mind. In Dartford, England, six men broke into the headquarters of the Home Workers Products Society, made off with 700 teddy bears.

Public Servants. In Wakefield, Mass., the fire department got a call from Mrs. Arthur E. Goodwin, who explained that she was visiting in Topsfield, 20 miles away, wondered if someone could please go to her house and turn off the gas under the carrots.

Time Out. In Chicago, Alexander Frickel stopped by a jewelry store to pick up the watch he had left there for repairs in 1930.

Progress. In Washington, D.C., the monthly Postal Record of the National Association of Letter Carriers noted that although it took the fastest pony express something more than nine hours to deliver a letter from St. Joseph, Mo. to Kansas City, "the modern, streamlined postal service" does the job in two or three days.

Middleman. In Detroit, Horace Booth, secretary treasurer of United Auto Workers' C.I.O. Local 922, admitted cashing 130 union checks, but insisted that he "didn't profit a cent": "I played the numbers and lost it all."

Close Trim. In Chicago, Barber Felix Opychany told police that a customer first had a haircut, then robbed the shop of $25.

Horseplay. In San Diego, Miss Eugenia Welker complained to police that practical jokers spoiled her vacation by 1) listing her house with a rental agent, 2) falsely reporting to police that she had found a diamond ring, 3) sending her ten pounds of horse meat.

Indictment. In Doerningheim, Germany, Alwin Lapp was thrown out of the Communist Party on a charge of "corruption by bourgeois morals"--specifically, beating his wife.

Legend v. Fact. In Fort Worth, Municipal Health Officer Dr. Wilbur V. Bradshaw examined the medical records of the city's 343 policemen, reported that only two of them had flat feet.

Samaritan. In Evanston, ILL, Jay Sandercock put a penny in an expired parking meter to save a stranger from a ticket, was arrested for tampering with the meter, learned that the car had already been ticketed.

Nonstop. On the Isle of Wight, one of the competitors in a cross-country foot race organized for inmates of the Camp Hill Borstal reformatory failed to turn up when the outing was over.

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