Full House. In Hagerstown, Md., Walter E. Roberts, informed that his wife had just given birth to their 19th child, commented: "This will make things rather crowded."

Rake's Progress. In Eastbourne, England, Albert Storey told police that, after 17 years as the keeper of a hotel's liquor cellar without snitching a single drink, he had during the last five years--under the influence and with the assistance of a woman friend--stolen and consumed some 4,337 bottles of beer, 75 bottles of whisky, 49 bottles of gin, 11 bottles of sherry.

Still, Small Voice. In Jonesboro, Ark., Theater Manager Earl Young got an anonymous letter: "Enclosed you will find $5. When I was a little girl ... I bought balcony tickets and sat downstairs."

First Things First. In Oneonta, Ala., the Blount County grand jury held its half-yearly meeting, made only one recommendation: that a better place be provided for the grand jury to meet in. In Norwich, England, a jury retired to consider its verdict, filed back into the courtroom 40 minutes later and asked for tea.

Q.E.D. In Washington, D.C., Judge Richmond B. Keech ruled that William Tendrich was entitled to a divorce because his wife allegedly sprinkled Paris green over the dinner table: "The defendant has shown . . . that she has no affection or respect for the plaintiff."

Career Man. In Atlanta, less than an hour after he paid a $125 fine for possessing four gallons of bootleg liquor, Milton White was arrested for possessing 15 gallons of bootleg liquor.

Ne'er-Do-Well. In Houston, police pieced together the evidence, concluded that the burglar who broke into the Hi-Lo Oil Co. building 1) tried without success to open up the cash register, the cigarette machine, the soft-drink machine; 2) tried to drive away with a trailer truck which jackknifed; 3) placed two long distance telephone calls and found nobody home; 4) quit in disgust.

Naturals. In Looe, England, first prize for "the most outstanding and unusual fish" caught in an angling contest was awarded to Henry Whale. In Detroit, the first woman to answer a call for reserve policewomen was Catherine Police.

Family Pride. In St. Joseph, Mo., Police Clerk Patrick Nash got a telephone call from a woman who said she understood the police had taken some pictures of her recently arrested son and wondered whether she could order a dozen prints to give to relatives.

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