Monday, Feb. 26, 1951

Floor Show. In Greeley, Colo., asked by reporters how she felt about children after giving birth to her 21st, Mrs. Orville McFarland, 43,"said: "They furnish entertainment."

In a Hurry? In Milwaukee, Optometrist David Wald advertised in the Journal: EYES EXAMINED WHILE YOU WAIT.

"I Do." In Washington, the Post ran a help-wanted advertisement for "Secretary; cocktails at 5; employer guarantees husband in six months."

Craftsmen. In Greensboro, N.C., a laundry proudly posted a notice in its window: "We don't mangle your clothes with machinery--we do it carefully by hand."

The Short View. In Appleton, Wis., police ordered the Junior Chamber of Commerce to take down its accident Scoreboard which featured red and green lights, on the ground that it was a traffic hazard.

Haven. In West Warwick, R.I., Arakel Kojoian was cleared of an assault charge when he testified that on the night of the crime he was playing cards at the Alibi Cafe.

Speaking of Money. In Batesville, Ark., under its advertisement for the picture Shakedown, the Landers Theater announced a new, higher admission price.

And So Good Night. In South Bend, Ind., a thief slugged the caretaker of a social club, lifted $1,850 from the safe, paused in his flight to put a pillow under the fallen night watchman's head and give him a double shot of whisky from the club's supply.

The Fragile Emotion. In Cairo, Saddik Admed got his 42nd divorce.

Halls of Montezuma. In Detroit, Edward J. Lappan won a divorce from his wife Edith, testified that since she got out of the service she 1) "couldn't forget she had been a marine," 2) "always wanted to fight."

Clear Crystal. In Milwaukee, after Spiritualist Irene H. Pike assured Geraldine Sampon that "You will be involved in a legal matter," Miss Sampon revealed herself as a policewoman, charged Mrs. Pike with fortunetelling for profit.

Inventory Item. In Chicago, police received a letter: "I wish to report that. . . I was in Chicago and had my car busted into . . . Someone stole a guitar, 8 lbs. of Brazilian peanuts, four pairs of socks, one shirt, one muffler, six cartons of cigarettes, one dress suit, and twelve cans of sardines' . . . Mrs. J. Webb. P.S.: My husband is missing too. He was in the car."

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