Corned Beef. Near Denton, N.C., after he noticed an alarming outbreak of butting, kicking and downright foolishness in his cattle herd, Farmer C. P. Ward moseyed through the woods near his pastureland, stumbled across an illicit moonshine still.

Second Chance. In South Deerfield, Mass., Driver Frank Wojtkielewicz lived to tell how his car crashed through Mr. St. Peter's gate.

First Things First. In Little Rock, Ark., after drawing a life term for his part in a robbery killing, Dan Darville was asked if he had any questions, replied: "Yes sir, judge. What'll I do now to get out right shortly?"

Open Invitation. In Spokane, shortly before Sandifur Motors advertised a 1951 Hudson sedan as "a steal at $2,675," someone stole it.

Imperial Sunset. In London, the British Colonial Office finally admitted that the Empire had become 100 square feet smaller in 1949 when volcanic Falcon Island in the Tongas suddenly slipped under the sea.

Above Suspicion. In Berlin, five men were caught trying to steal the copper roofing on the Moabit Criminal Court building.

The Literal Mind. In San Francisco, Elliott Poor was booked for public drunkenness after he climbed an 80-ft, chimney, began to bellow the first verse of On Top of Old Smoky, told rescuers: "I just felt like getting high."

Heat Rash. In Toronto, shortly after hauling away a bus rider clad only in his undershirt, police rushed out again to nab a nonchalant pedestrian who wore only his dress shirt.

Mass Conscription. In Lunenburg, Mass., the town suddenly lost its treasurer, tax collector, town clerk, board of health agent, board of selectmen's clerk and veterans' agent when Daniel P. McGuirl was recalled to active duty by the Army.

Dog Days. In Blytheville, Ark., the city council decided to crack down on unlicensed dogs, hired a dogcatcher, who could not work until a pound was built, erected a portable pound without having a location for it, no sooner parked the pound behind the City Hall than the dog-catcher quit, hired a new dogcatcher who snagged five dogs which could not be tagged because the city clerk ran out of licenses.

Cost of Living. In Sherman, Texas, Price's department store advertised $2 shirts for $3.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.