Sally v. Uncle Andrei

Six-year-old Sally Davies, daughter of Ernest Davies, Britain's delegate to the four-power conference that ended in Paris last week (see above), had written her father asking him if he could bring Andrei Gromyko back to her as a present. Delegate Davies couldn't, but Britain's irrepressible Columnist Nat Gubbins promptly seized on the idea as perfect punishment for the man whose evasive doubletalk had left the West's representatives limp with frustration. Last week in his Sunday Express column, Gubbins gave a terrifying picture of what Sally might do to Gromyko in a few minutes' chat.

"Are there millions and millions of little girls in Russia?"

"Millions and millions."

"How many millions?"

"Well, I don't know exactly."

"My daddy says you know all the answers."

"Shall we say twenty million?"

"What are their names?"

"Oh, they all have different names."

"Twenty million different Christian names?"

"Well, no, some have the same names. Many thousands, for instance, are called Olga."

"How many thousands?" . . .

"I haven't the figures with me at the moment."

"Are little Russian girls dark or fair?"

"Some are dark, some fair." . . .

"Aren't there any with mousy-colored hair?"

"Lots of them." . . .

"Do the mousy ones have blue eyes or brown eyes?"

"Some brown, some blue." . . .

"Have they all got mummies to look after them?"

"Most of them."

"And daddies?"

"They have one daddy who looks after them all."

"Only one daddy? Who's that?"

"The great Father Stalin."

"Fancy being the father of more than twenty million little girls."

(Exit Gromyko, breathing hard.)

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