Offside. In Odessa, Texas, President Murry H. Fly of Odessa Junior College regretfully informed Jackson (Miss.) College that Odessa would be unable to accept Jackson's invitation to play a football game because Odessa had given up the game more than a year ago.

Installment Plan. In Honolulu, when Charles Amalu went to the internal revenue office to protest the seizure of his house, seven outrigger canoes and two surfboards in lieu of taxes, the deputy collector seized Amalu's briefcase, which contained $9,000 in cash.

But Not Out. In Miami Beach, after Referee Eddie Coachman declared Boxer Harry Braelow the loser by a technical knockout, Braelow rose and floored the referee.

For the People. In Wichita Falls, Texas, County Clerk Dora Davis received a letter from a woman requesting some civil rights and enclosing $1 to cover costs.

All Puffed Up. In Seattle, on his 106th birthday, James Andrew Smith announced, "It's tobacco that keeps a man going. I plan to celebrate several more birthdays if my tobacco and matches hold out."

Wages of Sin. In Long Beach, Calif., after learning that her husband was also married to another woman, Mrs. Lillie Gillis filed suit for $4,000 as payment for her services rendered as housekeeper, computed at the rate of $3.25 a day.

Bum Rap. In Buffalo, after the judge sentenced him to ten days in county jail for vagrancy, Frank Stokes, 23, complained: "I have visible means of support --I'm on relief."

Open Ballot. In Norton, Va., the town council passed an ordinance forbidding gambling in bridge games, bingo games, pool halls and ballparks, but allowing bets up to $5 on political elections.

Billet-Doux. In Los Angeles, an unknown Romeo sneaked into a new 9,000 car parking lot and painted the following legend in 12-ft. letters across 200 feet of smooth, new black asphalt: ALICE, I LOVE YOU DEAR.

For Art's Sake. In Chicago, filing a divorce brief, Attorney Samuel A. Rinella charged, among many other things, that his client's husband "consistently compelled the plaintiff, under the duress of dire threats to her welfare, to awaken the children at the unseemly, unwholesome and barbarous hour of 5 a.m. so they might render the still-existent night hideous with sounds of violin and piano in the practice of alleged music upon which the said defendant insisted as a condition prerequisite to the taking by the minor children of matutinal sustenance."

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