Cum Laude. In Los Angeles, Orville Rambo, an armless midget who learned to write with a pencil held between his chin and shoulder, was sentenced to San Quentin prison for writing a worthless check.

Independent Income. In Kansas City, Dennis Hudson, 39, explained why he had stolen a car: he intended to sell its spare tire, because "I wanted to pay my own way in life and didn't want to ask my relatives in Denver for money."

The Critical Faculty. In East Hartford, Conn., after Mrs. Howard Manley had her husband arrested for cutting the cord of their TV set during a quarrel over what programs to watch, Judge Alvin Leone sampled some of the shows Mrs. Manley preferred, promptly freed critic Manley.

Captive Audience. In Scranton, Pa., a grand jury recommended that television sets be installed in the county jail to improve the morale of prisoners.

Accommodation. In Milwaukee, when three thugs dropped a bundle of $20 bills while making their getaway from the First Wisconsin National Bank, Anton Schutte innocently picked up the money and ran after them calling: "You dropped something!"

Cash & Carry. In Long Beach, Calif., after Garageman Paul V. Blanke refused to accept a check in payment for gasoline, the enraged customer pulled out a gun, heisted $65 from Blanke's till, made Blanke carry the fuel to his stalled car.

Bargain. In Chillicothe, Mo., while Mrs. Agnes Tharp was selling clothes at a charity benefit sale, an enterprising fellow charity worker sold Mrs. Tharp's own coat for $1.

Sick Call. In Oklahoma City, when Navy recruiters puzzled over his signature, Tonsillitis Jackson, 19, explained matters by listing the names of his brothers and sisters: Meningitis, 16, Appendicitis, 14, Laryngitis, 12, Jakeitis, 10, and Peritonitis, 9.

Night Out. In Paignton, England, dog fanciers held their annual meeting behind a door on which was posted a sign: DOGS NOT ALLOWED.

Statement of Condition. In Tulsa, after agreeing that Clifford Taylor was merely gunning his car and trying to get off an ice spot on which his wheels were spinning, police changed the charge against him from drunken driving to drunkenness.

Between the Lines. In Oakland, in its classified advertising columns, the Tribune offered: "Hollywood bed frame, mattress, springs; wedding veil, reasonable. LO 9-2365."

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