Piper's Pay. In Manchester, England, Kenneth Simpson went to jail for three months for stealing a lead pipe in order to raise money to pay a month-old fine for stealing a lead pipe.

Parimutuel. In Mobile, Ala., a highway cop spotted two cars racing at 80 m.p.h., pinched Drivers Johnnie Gamble and Noble Hurry.

Moratorium. In Idana, Kans., a stranger stuck up Basil Rankin's law office, found no money, drove away after Rankin reminded him that the premises were no longer occupied by a bank.

Bureaucracy's Hand. In Utrecht, The Netherlands, Paul Verra got a $1.60 fine or a day in jail for living with his wife at her father's house without prior approval of the local housing authority.

Vocational Training. In Springfield, Mass., Patrolman John Bigby, commended three times for tracking down robbers, drew 30 months in jail for robbery.

Cold Outside. Near Alice, N. D., after his creamery truck stalled in a blizzard, Ray Gillette comfortably sat out the 29DEG-below-zero storm in the insulated refrigerator compartment.

Experienced Hand. In Columbus, Ohio, forgery suspect George McCrimmon answered to the name of a fellow prisoner due to be freed, forged the other's signature on a release form, strolled out of jail.

Final Proof. In Ames, Iowa, Student Don Young, who gave a street vendor $10 for a "genuine cashmere sweater," set fire to it in his backyard to see if he had bought one of the "explosive" variety, watched sadly while it smoldered to ashes in five minutes, decided it was genuine after all.

Infiltration. In Clinton, Mass., selectmen and merchants demanded that the Worcester Street Railway Co. quit sending through their town a bus bearing a huge sign: SHOP IN WORCESTER.

Test Case. In Chicago, Board of Health President Herman Bundesen, long an outspoken foe of jaywalking, tried it, got a broken wrist.

Safety First. In Brownsville, Texas, after a switch engine rumbled over him while he slept between the rails, Reyes Guzman explained his napping spot to the engineer: "Maybe you don't know it, but snakes don't cross railroad tracks."

Collateral. In Lima, Peru, Manuel Meneses admitted that he had his four-year-old son christened 26 times in three years because "each new godfather was good for at least one loan."

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