Platoon, Half! In Detroit, Corporal William J. Thompson sued 2nd Lieut. Ruth E. Thompson for divorce, charged: "She throws her rank around."

Joiner. In Reno, after quitting as manager of a meat packing firm because "Office of Price Stabilization regulations make a profit impossible," M. A. ("Tiny") Fairchild got a new job as foods section chief of the OPS district office.

Point of No Return. In Milwaukee, Michael Shapiro was sentenced to three years in prison for income tax fraud, won a stay of sentence until he could finish making out his 1951 tax statement.

"Yes, Virginia . . ." In Great Bend, Kans., six weeks after a jolly old gentleman with white whiskers drove off without paying for a tankful of gasoline, Service Station Owner Jack Ames got a letter containing $3.31 in cash and a message: "Thank you for the loan . . . Santa Claus."

Delicate Operation. In Silver City, N. Mex., the Enterprise gravely reported that Hospital Patient Margaret Soule was "recovering from surgery performed decently."

Brief Encounter. In Cambridge, Mass., Theodore Murphy complained to police that a man he did not know appeared at his apartment door, punched him in the face twice, departed saying: "You know who I am."

Decoy. In Chicago, after an undercover man telephoned police headquarters to report that 40 men were playing poker and blackjack in a poolroom-saloon, Police Lieutenant George Mankowski raided the place with a flying squad, forgot to guard the rear exit, succeeded in nabbing only the undercover man.

Democracy. In Pasay, Philippine Islands, cops arrested seven gamblers playing roulette in a flossy night club, rushed next door to a small restaurant and nabbed their seven chauffeurs shooting craps.

Honor Graduate. In Columbus, Ohio, police searched for a patient who had wandered off from the West Virginia State Mental Hospital, finally found him working as an attendant in the Ohio State Mental Hospital.

But Not Forgotten. In Omaha, the city council assessed West Lawn Cemetery's 15,000 permanent residents $1,151.74 for sewer improvements.

Haul Away. Off Newport, R.I., Fishing Captain Lars Fahlen dragged a net across the ocean bottom, suddenly found his 65-ft. boat going full speed astern and had to chop his net cable to save his craft, learned later that he had almost been caught by the U.S. submarine Flying Fish.

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