Cleanup. In Manhattan, Manicurist Stella Kahn found $200 in a gutter while crossing Fifth Avenue, next day nearly sat on $655 in the back seat of a taxi, complained to police: "People should take better care of their things."

As You Were. In Los Angeles, Selma Mary Fini, charging that her husband nagged her when she refused to drink with him, got a divorce and resumed her maiden name: Selma Mary Sober.

Total Loss. In St. Joseph, Mo., Frank Martin carefully tethered his 80-pound coonhound watchdog to a young elm tree outside his house, went to work, returned to find that the dog had been stolen and the elm as well.

Researcher. In Rome, Vittorio Fedelis eagerly assured the court that he had looted 16 Roman apartments "simply to try out my invention of a new kind of master key."

Professional League. In Milwaukee, after winning first prize at the Knights of the Round Table Club's liar contest, J. Arthur Butler suddenly noticed by his watch that it was late, asked nervously: "What will I tell my wife?"

Gourmet. In Salem, Mass., Mrs. Elizabeth S. Norris asked for a divorce after testifying that her husband tasted a ham casserole she had cooked, then punched and kicked her because it was "too salty."

Begin at Home. In St. Louis, five employees of the Humane Society of Missouri went on strike for "humane working conditions."

The Secret. In Columbus, Ohio, Mrs. Ruth R. Peters, winner of a prize for driving 117,671 accident-free miles in eleven years, finally explained: "I drive as if everybody has the right-of-way except me."

Aid to Memory. In Fort Worth, over the desk of Sheriff Sully Montgomery, recently indicted for income-tax evasion, hangs a carefully lettered motto: "Always tell the truth and you won't have to remember what you said."

Muscle Isn't Everything. In Louisville, Safety Director James E. Thornberry discontinued chinnings, push-ups and other exercises for police-force applicants, explained: "They cost us a lot of good men."

One Solution. In Manhattan, emergency equipment, a bomb squad and police rushed to a subway station when an exasperated passenger who had waited 30 minutes for a train telephoned the Board of Transportation to say: "I guess the only thing to do is get a stick of dynamite and blow the place up."

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