Monday, Jul. 07, 1952

The Voting Public. In Goondiwindi, Australia, Frank Pforr ran for alderman on the slogan: "Pforr he's a jolly good fellow," finished last in a field of 13 candidates.

On Edge. In Chicago, William Hinkle, 19, went to a hospital after swallowing more than a-dozen razor blades, snarled at inquiring doctors: "You figure it out."

Serious Business. In London, the Rev. J. S. Wyatt complained at a Church of England assembly about the modern tendency to give tombstones a light touch, cited one recent inscription: "Cheerio. See you soon."

Bread & Butter Note. In Greeneville, Tenn., after D. G. Wills escaped from the city jail, he wrote officials: "I'm very sorry I walked out...but I won't be back to bother you any more."

Etiquette. In St. Louis, burglars who stole a safe containing $800 from the Diamond Cleaners shop telephoned Owner James E. Frick for the combination, so they wouldn't damage the strong box getting it open.

Depreciation. In London, Stanley Dingley sued his wife for divorce but failed to collect -L-250 damages from the corespondent when a judge ruled that "her value to her husband was diminishing from year to year because of disagreements [and] the utmost I shall allow is -L-75."

Chip & Old Block. In Des Moines, divorce suits charging cruelty were filed at the same time, by the same attorney, against Victor Meek and his son Phillip Meek.

The Higher Power. In Warren, Ark., Auto Salesman Wayne Reaves hastily withdrew as a candidate for alderman after discovering that his opponent was none other than Lawrence Haynie, Reaves's boss.

Dependency. In Glasgow, Scotland, Postman Peter Miller, 57, managed for eleven years to keep two wives in two different homes, was finally exposed when he robbed the mails "to give these ladies some little extra benefits."

If Winter Comes. In Brentwood, Mo., on a day when the heat stood at a record 100.8DEG, the board of aldermen received notice of the delivery of the city's brand-new snowplow.

The Whole Man. In the Rockport (Ind.) Democrat, Jesse L. Garrett, 49, offered $28,000 for a wife, described himself as "not bad to look at, love any kind of fun, and am at home in a hog pen or in a mansion's drawing room."

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