Seniority. In Covington, Ky., James Riggs, 95, told police who arrived to help his 65-year-old son take him home from a tavern: "I'll go home with you guys, but no runny-nosed kid is going to tell me what to do."

Fated. In Camden, N.J., a judge recommended divorce for Mrs. Joseph Lane after she testified that her husband kept a revolver and a bullet marked with her initials, told her: "This bullet is especially for you, dear."

All or Nothing. In Roswell, N. Mex, while being tried in juvenile court for stealing five cars, twelve-year-old Arley Lewis bolted from the courtroom, ran ten blocks, stole a sixth car.

Extra Precaution. In Los Angeles, when University of Southern California Professor Kenneth L. Trefftzs hired a contractor to build him a fireproof roof, a tar melting machine caught fire and burned down his house.

About the House. In Cincinnati, Mrs. Margrutte Hall sued her husband for $6,000 damages, charging that she would have had a "desirably situated" apartment, if he had not 1) removed a door, 2) taken down the chimney so the soot blew back in, 3) made a twelve-foot opening in the basement wall which froze the pipes and deprived her of running water.

Last Respects. In Salyersville, Ky., Moonshiner Clyde Joseph, 32, charged with murdering 63-year-old Hager Joseph during an argument about a still, told police: "I hated awful bad to kill Uncle Hag. He was a good man."

Oversight. In Stevens Point, Wis., during a stop for gas, Mrs. Robert Benson slipped out of the back seat to visit the restroom, and her husband drove on for 93 miles before discovering she wasn't in the car.

Critic. In Toledo, George E. Miscovich, fed up with TV, was charged with assault & battery after his wife complained that he fired nine times at their flickering TV screen, missed, fired twice at her, missed again.

Slightly Used. In Pittsburgh, Barbara W. Ford notified police that her car had been stolen, received it eight days later minus engine, five wheels, five tires, three brake drums, one battery, two tail lights, and two floor mats.

Monopoly. In Milwaukee,. Stripteaser Patricia McQuillan, whose bust, she says, is insured for $50,000 with Lloyd's of London, filed a $25,000 damage suit against a theater operator for "trademark infringement and unfair competition," charging he advertised other dancers under her slogan: "$50,000 Treasure Chest."

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