Premiere. In Lowell, Mass., Lightweight Neil King, making his boxing debut, hopped nimbly into the ring, tossed off his robe, discovered he had forgotten his trunks.

Bread & Butter Note. In Bloomington, Ind., a burglar who appeared worried lest his robbery of $5 from a grocery go unnoticed left a message for the proprietor: "I robbed U, bye."

Just My Bill. In Portland, Me., Mrs. Bina Evans, contesting her husband's divorce action, told the judge that after a family spat he "broke my teeth and my nose, tore my ear, broke my arm and some ribs, but outside of that he's an awful good man, and there's no one in the world I love more."

Sinking Fund. In Pasadena, Calif., Horse Player Johnny Bowler had $14,690 in his wallet when arrested for stealing a 71-c- tube of toothpaste.

Honor Bound. In Budapest, Communist Hungarian officials, charged with stepping up the birth rate, posted notices around the city: TO GIVE BIRTH TO CHILDREN IS A DUTY FOR MARRIED WOMEN AND AN HONOR FOR UNMARRIED GIRLS.

No Sale. In Kansas City, Mo., Auto Salesman Max Hanson picked up a prospect for a demonstration ride in a new De Soto, telephoned home 8 1/2 hours and 250 miles later to report that his customer had given the car an approving look, said, "Fine, we're going to Tulsa," unlimbered a pistol to emphasize his point, finally left Hanson with the automobile but minus $75.

Self-Control. In Columbus, Ohio, former Ohio Highway Director Hal Sours was trapped by a radar speeding device he had sold to the city in 1949, fined $10.

Sign Language. In Cincinnati, Leroy Huntley accused his wife at a divorce hearing of placing gummed stickers about the house for his benefit: BE SURE TO PUT DIRTY HANDS ON THE WALLPAPER ... BE SURE TO SLOP UP THE MIRROR ... BE SURE TO MESS THIS UP ... MIGHT AS WELL PUT THE GARBAGE IN THE LIVING ROOM.

Trial Balance. In Effingham, Ill., residents were trying to figure out the new U.S. Census figures, which said Effingham had 1,735 married women, 1,728 married men.

One of Those Days. In Cleveland, a burglar cut himself breaking in a window of Kovachy Bros.' auto-accessory store, labored long and hard trying to pound open a safe that was not only unlocked but empty, finally looted the store of its only cash--a $10 bill, which he absentmindedly dropped on his way out.

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