Monday, Mar. 30, 1953
Heavy-Fingered. In Walla Walla, Wash., someone broke into A. Wylie's monument display room, stole two tombstones.
Reputation at Stake. In Indianapolis, the worried manager of the Essex House called an electrician to come quickly and replace the burned-out first two letters of its big neon sign.
Around the Clock. In Hyattsville, Md., 83-year-old J. A. Dobson was arrested for drunken driving after he slammed his automobile into a pole in broad daylight and bayed at a policeman: "This is my night to howl."
Young Love. In Ahmadabad, India, police stopped a marriage contract ceremony in a nearby village, told the parents of the one-year-old groom and the nine-month-old bride not to be in such a hurry.
Heave Ho! In San Francisco, when Floyd Ford's car got stuck in a rut, he and a friend got out to push, shoved it out of the rut and over a 75-ft. cliff.
To the Point. In London, a soldier's wife who had been ordered to leave her military quarters wrote to British Under Secretary of War J. R. H. Hutchison: "Dear Sir: I remain, Yours truly."
Sales Resistance. In Baltimore, while Insurance Agent Manuel Hyman was trying to sell him a policy covering losses from holdups, Liquor Store Proprietor William Gross was held up by three gunmen, still couldn't decide whether to buy a policy.
By the Rule Book. In Toronto, Roy Wallis complained to police that, although he was uninjured when his automobile crashed into a pole, two solicitous bystanders insisted on applying first aid, dragged him out of the car, twisted his arm to make him lie down on the cold pavement.
Special Delivery. In Middletown, Ohio, Letter Carrier Webster Newton opened a sidewalk mailbox to collect the outgoing mail, found a can of washing powder, four cans of cold beer, $11 in change, two keys, and 28 envelopes filled with scrap paper.
Referendum. In Holly Springs, Miss., Police Chief Jimmie Warren explained why the streets are lined with unused marking meters: "A good salesman sold he city the meters, but they are very unpopular. By common consent, nobody puts a coin in and nobody gets a ticket."
The Competition. In Detroit, Mrs. Marguerite Norton got a divorce after testifying that she had to work to support herself because her husband lavished so much money and affection on his 10,000 pet worms.
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