Ambulance Chasers. In Tulsa, James Parker told police that after he was struck down by an automobile, two helpful spectators accompanied him to the hospital, made sure he was comfortable, left with his wallet and $99.

Spread the Word. In St. Joseph, Mo., a woman phoned the News-Press to ask if it would reprint the story about her divorce because "there's a fellow I think wants a date with me ... He must have missed the first notice." Invitation Accepted. In Milwaukee, citizens who were invited to help themselves to the kindling wood left over from the dismantling of Borchert Field also carried off the main gate, 118 benches, two tool sheds, $105 worth of tools.

Purely Academic. In Grand Island, Neb., just after discovering that one of his prisoners had escaped, Jailer Harry La Borde received a certificate from the U.S.

Bureau of Prisons for successfully completing a correspondence course in the proper handling of prisoners.

A Penny Earned. In Boone, Iowa, Mrs. Sam Saddoris moved her automobile to recover a penny that had rolled underneath it, did $102 damage when the car rammed a parking meter, caromed off a building, lurched half a block down the sidewalk.

Close-Up. In Tampa, Cigar Manufacturer Karl Cuesta, victim of a series of burglaries, complained to police that the camera he had rigged up in his factory to photograph marauders had been stolen.

Fare Enough. In Tokyo, Walter Tonge hailed a cab, recognized it as his stolen car, asked to be taken to the nearest police station where he had the driver booked for theft.

Shorts & Overs. In Phoenix, Ariz., sheriff's deputies rushed to investigate a shooting, learned that a woman had stood ten feet from her husband and fired six pistol shots at him, all misses.

Call of the Wild. In Detroit, Skyscraper Window Washer Clarence Stayton got a divorce after testifying that his wife had insisted that they go to the North Woods to live, even though he doubted he could support her there.

Professional Standards. In Milwaukee, the Journal carried a classified ad: "SITTER FOR BOYS. Grandpa in 50s will sit evenings with your boys age 4 and up. If boy is well behaved, 'no charge.' If permitted to attempt to regulate MISBEHAVIOR into BEHAVIOR, still 'no charge.' If I am not permitted to attempt to teach your boy the 'manners of a little Southern gentleman' I do not wish to SIT or associate with your 'young 'un' or YOU."

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