Bull's Eye. In Denver, an Indian arrested for drunkenness told police his age --36--and his name--John Nelson Never Miss A Shot.

Slim Chance. In Manchester, England, after Mrs. Maude Mitchell produced photographs to show how her husband's alleged cruelty had caused her to lose 28 pounds in two years, the judge remarked that the loss of weight had enhanced her appearance, denied her separation plea.

Habitues. In Toledo, after spending almost five hours in Sam's Cafe before it closed for the night, Ford G. Belcher and two friends broke into the tavern half an hour later, told police when arrested: "We give Sam all our business."

Bad Loser. In Kansas City, Mo., accepting Donald Reikard's invitation to play poker, John Wright lost $2.50, pressed a knife against Reikard's throat and took the $2.50 back, later explained to police: "I decided I had been cheated."

Provocation. In Hartford, Conn., fined $50 and costs for hitting John H. Williams with an iron pipe, Chef Charles Cokinos of the Starlite Restaurant explained: "He only ordered a cup of coffee. He wasn't spending enough money."

It Takes a Thief ... In Alexandria,

Va., after stealing $430 from a parked truck, Horace C. Turner was pursued and captured by the truck's owner and several bystanders, admitted his guilt, but suddenly discovered that one of the bystanders had made off with the loot.

Tape Worm. In Milwaukee, Mrs. Helen Dettlaff, suing for divorce, testified that her husband Aloysius always made her explain where she had spent her day, tape-recorded her answers in order to check them for discrepancies.

Jail Bait. In Fairfield, Iowa, Mrs. Effie Fisher, offered the choice of a $50 fine or 15 days in jail for shooting a squirrel in her back yard, packed her suitcase, told reporters: "I hear they have rats in the jail. I wonder if they'll let me take my rifle with me."

False Security. In Providence, R.I., twice arrested and released when detectives mistook him for a murder suspect, Calvin Coolidge Corl, 28, indignantly demanded a guarantee that he would not be picked up again, but was promptly locked up after police queried his home town, learned that he was wanted for forgery.

The Son Is My Undoing. In Long Beach, Calif., a jury acquitted Adam Thiele of drunken-driving charges after he explained that he had been unable to drive in a straight line because his ears were being tickled by the toes of his small son, riding in the back seat.

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