Never Give Up. In Denver, suing a dance studio for $2,610, Mrs. Murrell Selby Collins, 52, charged breach of contract, testified that after 260 lessons an instructor had called her "a silly old fool who would never learn to dance."

The Unromantic Law. In Newport, England, defending a store accused of price-gouging, Lawyer B. J. Hayes failed to avert the court's -L-7 ($19.60) fine despite his plea: "The boy clerk and girl clerk . . . did not have their minds on their work. They were married a month later."

Overture. In Van Nuys, Calif., after a stranger in the municipal building told him that he would have to appear in court to answer a traffic summons, Milton Wiegman, 27, replied: "I don't . . . take that from any two-bit civil-service employee," learned too late that he had been talking to the judge who was to hear his case.

Not a Creature Was Stirring ... In

Dennis Port, Mass., Burglar Edward J. Clancy climbed into the chimney of the Stop & Shop store, inched his way down 30 ft. before he got wedged in too tightly to move, two hours later was extricated and arrested.

The Fine Line. In New Smyrna Beach, Fla., Robert Miles failed to persuade the city commission to change its zoning boundary splitting his property, still has his two bedrooms designated "residential," the rest of his apartment "commercial."

New Approach. In Lawrence, Mass., Milton Niport, turned down when he asked for a job as assistant manager of the Palace Theater, waited 45 minutes, then held up Manager Guido Lumenello, escaped with $1,991.

Calculated Delay. In Oneida, N.Y., state police watched Truck Driver Francis Gorman deliver four new patrol cars to their barracks, then nabbed him for driving without a chauffeur's license.

One for Good Luck. In Bakersfield, Calif., two prison-farm inmates were charged with assault & battery after the superintendent reported that they had burned the hair off Prisoner Frank McKee's head, forced him to eat grape stems and cigarette butts, struck him with a horseshoe.

The Let Down. In Philadelphia, Merchant Seaman Harold L. Walsh, telling police how two strong-arm men had held him up, taken his $30 wristwatch but had missed $65 in his wallet, summed up indignantly: "I've been robbed in all the biggest ports . . . [I've] always been cleaned out, never left with a cent. These guys, they miss 65 bucks . . . Your boys are slipping."

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