Drought Relief. In Adel, Iowa, when city officials ordered local tavern operators not to sell him beer, Ivan Gowin sued the city for $25,000 because he had been unable to relieve his "exhausted and dehydrated condition."

The Survivor. In London, Mounted Policeman James J. Goss won a divorce on grounds of cruelty after he charged that his wife Janet had 1) hidden his cigarettes and newspapers, 2) frequently kicked and bitten him, 3) broken a pot on his head, 4) thrown a poker at him, 5) stuck a knife in his back.

Down Payment. In South Bend, Ind., Restaurateur Jack Chambers told police that he had not interfered when a woman took $19 from the pockets of dozing Customer Joseph King, because she had an explanation: "He's my husband . . . I'm going to take him home in a bit . . ."

State of Readiness. In San Francisco, asked by police why he was carrying a hammer, pliers, and a spring-blade knife under his coat. Harry Hoster readily explained that he needed the tools because the heel on his shoe kept working loose.

Circulation Problem. In Pageland, S.C., the weekly Journal ask'ed its readers to drive carefully, added: "Subscribers . . . are getting harder and harder to find, so we have to try ... to keep the ones we have. Please don't go get yourself banged into an eternal address--we can't send your paper there."

Main Event. In Port Angeles, Wash., the state liquor board ordered the M & C Tavern to remove a sign hanging on the bar: "We don't have TV here, but we have a fight every night."

For the Birds. In San Mateo, Calif., asking police to guard her home, Mrs. Howard Spreckels reported that a man had telephoned her, said he was a telephone repairman, asked her to whistle to test the line, then hung up after saying: "Thank you. We'll send you a box of birdseed tomorrow."

Windup. In Marlboro, Mass., Marion K. Z. Stone ran this ad in the Daily Enterprise: "Having satisfactorily severed my marriage bond after 19 years, I wish to express . . . gratitude to John E. Rice for counseling, Arthur Bastien and Fred Williams for legal service, the Stone family for a friendly attitude . . . P. S. I have three beagle mongrel pups free for anyone . . ."

The Long Way Home. In Dunkirk, France, after a night's drinking. Englishmen Frank Lee and Eric Pape finally woke up, discovered that they had taken the wrong train, crossed the English Channel on a ferry instead of commuting home to their London suburb.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.