Monday, Mar. 08, 1954
Against Sin. In Oklahoma City, Political Aspirant George V. Fried announced his candidacy for the U.S. Senate and his platform: "If it's right, I'm for it."
Motion Seconded. In Toledo, to back up his request for an additional reptile keeper, Zoo Director Philip C. Skeldon turned loose a wriggling 7-ft. indigo snake at a city-council meeting, quickly got his man.
Amenity Missing. In Gadsden, Ala., Farmer Miles Johnson explained to the judge why he did not send his two children, aged nine and eleven, to school: they both take snuff, and there is no place in the classroom to spit.
Foreclosure. In Conneaut, Ohio, a stranger who was turned down for a loan by the Lake Erie Finance Co. whipped out a pistol, grabbed $200 and announced: "I need the money, and I will take it anyway."
Home-Grown. In Oakland, Calif., Leroy A. Morrison was put on a three-year probation after explaining to the probation officer why he had a can of marijuana seeds in his possession: "I was going to plant my own because I couldn't see paying the price they charge for this stuff."
Full Employment. In Philadelphia, Shoplifter Leon Kapcynski, with a record of 32 arrests, was nabbed once more, for stealing two dresses, volunteered an observation to the prosecuting attorney: "It's fellows like me that keep fellows like you in business."
Eyes Front. In Hamilton, Ont., while 18 policemen and eight bank guards moved $4,000,000 in cash and securities into a new bank, thieves held up a finance company next door and escaped with $1,800.
Subjective Approach. In Chicago, Psychologist Harold Basowitz reported the theft of his briefcase, explained that he was particularly anxious because it contained research material from his two-year study on "Anxiety."
Cupid's Arrow. In New Orleans, Mrs. James C. Ragas received a shiny red valentine from a masked messenger at the door, turned over $73 after she read the inscription: "This is a stickup. Don't make any funny noises. All I want is the money."
Reason Enough. In Detroit, Mrs. Dorothy Roe got a divorce after she testified that her husband Gene inspected the kitchen garbage before she threw it away, bawled her out if he found the potato peelings too thick. In Indianapolis, Mrs. Maryellen Dillman got a divorce after she testified that her husband carefully watched wrestling on TV, afterwards practiced the holds on her.
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