Depreciation Allowance. In Copenhagen, looking for a Danish bride, Minnesota Contractor Leo Larsen, 45, told reporters that his "dream wife" must 1) be able to pay half her ticket to the U.S., 2) have had her appendix removed, 3) wear false teeth, because: "I don't want any unforeseen expenses."

The Lost Century. In San Bernardino, Calif., before applying for old-age benefits, Adolphus Washauer, 74, asked the Census Bureau for his birth date, learned that he was clearly eligible, since official records showed he was born in 1833.

Mission Accomplished. In Sylvania, Ohio, Donald Custer got a 20-day sentence for breaking into the village jail.

Odd Man Out. In Derby, England, Wilfred T. Ward was granted a divorce after he testified that his wife and daughter once climaxed a family quarrel by smashing the furniture with a 7-lb. sledge hammer, pinning Ward down while his son beat him.

Beginner's Luck. In Atlantic City, N.J., after two weeks' active duty. Rookie Patrolman Edward Byard reported his first robbery: his badge had been stolen.

Change of Address. In Merrill, Wis., four independent truckers put an ad in the Herald: "NOTICE . . . We are able to take care of our pulp hauling jobs even though we are now in the county jail . . . Visitors welcome. Hours: 2 to 4 and 7 to 8:30 p.m. . . ."

Nos Habebit Humus. In Stafford, England, Violet Shaw, 64, learning that her late husband already had another wife when he married her in 1938, sued his estate for breach of promise.

Second Feature. In Santa Rosa, Calif., the Rev. Shirley T. Sherrill sent out a mimeographed bulletin inviting parishioners to stay after services for a "coffee hour in the social hell."

Pound Foolish. In London, arrested for counterfeiting, Auditor Phillip J. Pratt refused to plead guilty, snorted: "Ridiculous! I look on it as an amusing hobby."

Expose. In Pamplona, Spain, magistrates at the city courthouse learned that 14 copper lightning rods, installed to safeguard the court during the perennial thunderstorms, had been sold on the black market in 1952 and secretly replaced by painted wooden poles.

Favor. In Birmingham, charged with drunken driving, James Elkourie declared: "I am grateful to the officers for getting me off the streets before I hurt anyone," was promptly fined $100, forbidden to drive for six months.

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