Honor Bright. In Perrysburg, Ohio, charged with waving a sign reading "Speed Trap Ahead," then shepherding twelve cars safely past a police radar checkpoint, Scoutmaster John E. Schellpfeffer was fined $50 despite his plea: "I just wanted to do a good turn."

Family Affair. In Salem, Mass., when two masked bandits went into the Surrette Storage Battery Co., Bookkeeper Josephine Russell recognized her brother-in-law in spite of his mask, later notified police, who nabbed both men.

Put & Take. In Los Angeles, Mrs. Phyllis Morris complained in court that whenever her estranged husband Albert came to pay her $24 monthly support, he insisted that she play gin rummy with him, give him a chance to win back his money.

Overtime. In New Haven, Conn., seeking a divorce, Factory Worker Carmen Nuzzo explained that he did not mind working nights to support his wife Eleanor and her five unemployed brothers, but they made so much noise during the day that he could get no sleep.

Mass Reaction. In Fort William, Ont.,

fined $50 for attempted theft, Allan Hayes, 69, angrily explained why he had assaulted a pay telephone with a hack saw, cold chisel and hammer: "I wanted my nickel back. I did what anyone would do . . ."

The Lovelorn. In Chicago, police nabbed Carl Mannelli and John Thomas on the roof of the Wisconsin Packing Co. with an assortment of wrenches and a hack saw, took them off to jail despite Mannelli's plea: "Honest, we were just looking for girls . . ."

Property Improvement. In Milwaukee, arrested for taking an ax to the electric power pole in front of his house, Albert Freiberg, 41, explained: "The pole mars the beauty of my property ... I told them right from the start that if it didn't look nice, I'd chop it down."

Sauce for the Gander. In El Paso, burglars who broke into Michael's Cafe took time out from their work to remove a 7-lb. goose from the refrigerator, cook and eat it.

Any Questions? In Vallejo, Calif., the Times Herald carried a personal announcement: "My wife has, without cause, left my habitation and is floating on the ocean of tyrannical extravagance, prone to prodigality . . . kindling her pipe with the coal of curiosity . . . [To] abolish such insidious, clandestine, noxious, pernicious, diabolical, and notorious deportment, I therefore caution all persons from harboring or trusting her on my account, as I will pay no debts of her contracting . . . unless compelled by law . . . E. H. Mailliw."

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