Life of the Party. In Chicago, Bank Robber Samuel Hochstetler confided to FBI agents that in six weeks he had spent $5,000 of the $31,000 loot for dancing lessons, had already mastered the fox trot, the waltz, the rhumba, the mambo, the tango and the samba.

S O S. In Washington. D.C., policemen nabbed James Haley after he was discovered applying a file and a pair of pliers to the back door of St. Patrick's Church rectory, told the judge that he was merely seeking "spiritual guidance."

Backfire. In Pasadena, Calif., Scout Leader Kenneth Chessman admitted to police that he had set fire to Boy Scout headquarters only because he felt that his work was not appreciated by the community.

Under Separate Cover. In Janesville, Wis., the Parker Pen Co. received a note from a school principal: "I want to thank you for your kindness when we visited your splendid plant . . . I am returning two fountain pens two of my students picked up while we were making the tour."

Clean Sweep. In Wheeling, W. Va., ordered to "clear Market Street of bums," Rookie Patrolman Arthur McKenzie went to work, sent packing a banker, two insurance executives, a detective, two city councilmen.

The Fog of War. In Montgomery, Ala., asked in court why he had slugged a woman during a tavern brawl. Rube Wainwright explained: "I thought she was my wife ..."

General Quarters. In El Paso, after deputy tax assessors had been bitten more than 20 times by dogs, Tax Collector Joseph Prudot ordered them to make their rounds armed with water pistols and ammonia.

Time Out. In Knoxville, Tenn., seeking a divorce, Mrs. Dora Carroll Smith charged that for 13 months her husband Isaac had left the house whenever the rent came due, refused to come home until she paid it.

Intelligence Report. In Elliston, Ohio, charged with tampering with mails, Postmaster Reuben R. Stick admitted opening and reading High-School Teacher Emil Slovak's mail for 16 weeks, explained that he was just curious to see how Slovak was getting along.

Practical Politics. In Elba, Ala., Farmer Dewey Adams broke into a polling place where votes cast in a local primary were being counted, chased away election officials with an ax, set fire to 95 ballots, after his arrest explained: "I didn't like the way the election was being run . . ."

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