Arbitration. In Newark, picketing his own auto laundry, Owner George Schanerman explained: "The boys have been striking for two weeks and they're tired. What the heck, I'm a regular guy."

Absolute Standard. In Chicago, suing or divorce, Edward Babacz, 35, testified hat his wife Josephine, 27, "makes me do he dishes, the cooking, the laundry, the shopping, care for the children and wax the floors. If they don't shine as they do in TV commercials, then she makes me do them over again."

Show Stopper. In Louisville, attending a convention of the International Brotherhood of Magicians, Harry Albacker had to cancel his act because someone had stolen a suitcase containing his 10-ft., 60-lb. python.

Clock Watcher. In Berlin, accused of failing to arrest a man fleeing a robbery, Policeman Erwin Plessow was sentenced to seven weeks in jail when he explained that he was due to get off duty in three minutes and could not possibly have caught the thief in that time.

All for Love. In London, an appellate court, moved by Mrs. Lily Green's complaint that automobile accident injuries made it painful for her to kiss, doubled the -L-500 ($1,400) damages awarded her by a lower court.

Liquidation. In Douglas, Ariz., while his parents were away on vacation, Glenn Prescott, 35, sold two family blankets for $22, the radio-phonograph for $20, his father's bar bells for $13, allegedly cashed his father's $15 pension and $85 Social Security checks, was arrested while trying to sell the family washing machine.

Amateur Spirit. In Liedekerke, Belgium, the Silver Post Anglers' Club held a lottery to distribute $100 in prizes after the 125 competitors in a fishing contest failed to catch anything.

A Heap O' Livin'. In Hartford, Conn., Salesman John Holmes, advertising in the Courant, offered to sell ". . . 40 acres of Pin Oaks and Black snakes. Old-world charm includes sagging floors, tortuous stairway and draughty fireplaces . . . Dandy opportunity to toughen up wife and kiddies ..." reported several nibbles the first day.

Circumstantial Evidence. In Boston, Judge Frederick V. McMenimen called Antonio Sardo, 49, "neurotic" for accusing his wife Madeline, 37, of infidelity after she testified that she had been taking care of her ailing mother, supervised all her husband's bookkeeping, worked side by side with him every day in his carpet-cleaning establishment, borne him 16 children.

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