Traveling Papers. In Steyr, Austria, Fire Brigade Captain Franz Fazeny was convicted of arson after starting three fires in nearby Allhaming, where his girl friend Maria Sadleder lived, just as an excuse to see her more often.

Fair Wear & Tear. In Pampa, Texas, L. P. Fort, running for county judge, listed under "Miscellaneous" in his campaign expense account: "New soles and heels for shoes, $3.50."

The Suspect. In Cincinnati, the case against John Burrell was dismissed after Patrolman Herschel Hall testified: "He was just driving too carefully . . . He was so careful I figured he must have done something wrong, so I stopped him."

Deepfreeze. In McKeesport, Pa., Mrs. Dorothy Halfhill asked a court to jail her husband Bernard for six months, explained to the judge: "I love him, but he thinks he loves this other woman. If he is put away for a while, it will keep our home together."

The Breaking Point. In London, Albert Simmons won a divorce after testifying that when he got home from a Masonic dinner at 1:30 a.m., his wife peppered him with 18 freshly laid eggs.

Traffic Jam. In Independence, Mo., after leading seven patrol cars on a ten-mile chase and drawing police fire, Charles D. Scott, 18, explained: "My foot got wedged on the accelerator."

Happy Ending. In Auckland, N.Z., after a 48-year postal romance between New Zealander John Edgecumbe and Philadelphian Prudence Coker finally led to marriage, Mrs. Edgecumbe told reporters, "We hope all the fuss is over and we'll be able to settle down."

Down Wind. In Kosciusko, Miss., charged with operating a still, Rudolf Slater swore he never would have been caught except that his dog's run-in with a skunk had left it unable to smell approaching revenuers.

Diagnosis. In New Orleans, Ronald Fuller's career as a bogus physician came to an end when he examined a one-year-old baby with measles and prescribed: "You had better see a doctor."

Snap Judgment. In Sheffield, England, Mrs. Margaret Williamson won a marriage annulment after testifying that her husband Alexander argued with her mother two hours after the ceremony in 1949, walked out, never came back.

Proof. In Somerville, N.J., after allowing his younger brother to run him down with an automobile, Paul Barnes, 34, told police: "What could I do, show him I was yellow?"

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