Steerage Class. In Milwaukee, after Mrs. Fannie Riley found him sleeping in a trunk in her attic and called police, Army Sergeant John J. Yess, unable to account for either the position or the imposition, complained: "This ship has the smallest berth I ever slept in."

Meaning of Meaning. In Kuala Lumpur, Malaya, delivering a long speech to 6,000 Malayans on "The Meaning of Patience in Islam," the mufti of Selangor was shouted down after 45 minutes.

Alibi. In Coral Gables, Fla., when Beverly Talley identified Robert G. Tardif as the man who was peeping in her windows, Tardif indignantly retorted: "She couldn't identify me. She was in the closet."

Round Trip. In Gaevle, Sweden, Irene Karlson borrowed a friend's motorbike, found she did not know how to stop it, rode 50 miles down the road until it ran out of gas, took the bus home.

A Matter of Faith. In Turlock, Calif., Jim Hawthorne was held by police after Philip Jacobs charged that Hawthorne told him: "Someone wants me to kill you for $1,000, but you're a good Christian man. If you give me $500, I'll kill him instead."

Family Man. In Midland, Texas, E. G. Foust advertised in the Reporter-Telegram: "Will party or parties that have constantly robbed my mail for the last year please . . . give me your name so I can claim dependents on my income tax."

Inside Information. In Kansas City, Mo., when police wondered why X. L. Rogers hid the $230 he was charged with stealing in his right shoe. Rogers explained: "I was afraid of being robbed."

Reserved Seat. In Los Angeles, Salesman J. N. Gilckin was charged with forgery after he gave Policeman Eugene Markham a bogus $5 check in payment for two tickets to the Los Angeles police show.

Small Business. In Milwaukee, charged with selling beer without a license, selling food without a license, operating a restaurant without a license and having an unlicensed jukebox, Le Roy Dicks explained: "The restaurant license must have fallen off the wall and been swept away."

Ricochet Romance. In Hutchinson, Kans., Bill Dennis and Pat Gough finally said "I do" after a wedding day in which 1) Dennis forgot to pick up the license, 2) Pastor Lonnie Smith became ill, 3) the bride's brother failed to arrive, 4) the air conditioning blew out the church candles, 5) Dennis, waiting at the altar, discovered he had misplaced the ring.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.