Worthy Cause. In El Paso, police began looking for a magazine salesman who told prospective customers that he was trying to raise money to bail his grandmother out of jail.

Contact Lens. In Hamilton, Ont., after being arrested on charges of stealing a pair of $1.50 glasses from a department store, Joseph McShane protested that he took them only "so I could see my way out of the store."

Vox Pop. In Salt Lake City, when Attorney General E. R. Callister proposed publicly that the death sentence be abolished, the first favorable letter he received was signed: "Don Jesse Neal, Death Row, Utah State Prison."

With Gravy. In Chicago, Restaurateur Gus Scopos, arrested on assault charges after pouring hot grease over Customer Kenneth Carpenter, had the charges dismissed when he testified: "He ordered one hamburger--mind you, just one--then he poured a whole bottle of catsup over it."

Relative Immunity. In Honolulu, Joaquin A. Padayao complained that police were too harsh in charging him with first-degree murder, explained: "It should be second-degree. I only shot my wife."

Stinking Situation. In New Britain, Conn., when officials wanted to try out the city's new incinerator, they found themselves without enough garbage, borrowed 70 tons from nearby Hartford.

Catharsis. In Milwaukee, after walking up to a 205-lb. policeman and slapping him across the cheek, Richard D. Tump, 20, told the court: "I don't like policemen. I had all this inside me; now I guess it's released."

Dog's Life. In Orlando, Fla., when sheriff's deputies found E. R. Kriss beating lustily on the lid of a garbage pail and howling like a dog, Kriss explained that he wanted to get even with his neighbor's hound, which had kept him awake by barking.

About Face. In Fort Worth, after 40 years as a tavern owner, Harry M. Blankenship piled his stock of brew on the sidewalk in front of his cafe, announced as he walked away from it: "I decided to stop working for the Devil and go to work for the Lord."

The Question. In Milwaukee, Lyle Gamroth, 22, punched his wife Janet in the nose and brandished a revolver at her, gave her wrist watch, engagement and wedding rings to his 17 year-old girlfriend, just before getting a six-month jail sentence for assault and battery screamed at his wife: "I don't know why you want to send me to prison!"

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