Brass. In Fresno. Calif., suing John Davilla for divorce. Jennie Davilla charged that he beat her frequently, claimed it was a privilege that went with his Navy rank of chief petty officer.

Lemons. In Covington. Ky.. Constable Joseph Strassel was fined $500 for possessing gambling equipment despite his assertions that the two slot machines found on his property were "left there for repairs.''

Persuader. In Apollo. Pa., when Bartender Ray Bodenhorn refused him another drink. John Baustert. 28. went outside to his pickup truck, crashed it through the front of the bar. got out and said, "Now can I have a drink?"

Public Defender. In Palermo. Italy. Yincenzo Fassano tore off all his clothes, hopped into a fountain and began beating on the marble statues of water nymphs, when police arrived explained: "I consider these statues immoral."

If You Insist ... In Detroit. Claude Berry was given ten days for drunken driving, despite his insistence that "three masked men grabbed me. pulled a knife and forced a lot of whisky down my throat. That's how I got drunk."

Expert. In Corvallis. Ore., Professor Paul X. Knoll of Oregon State College reported sadly that his wife had enrolled in his course in argumentation.

Such Sweet Sorrow. In Gallup, N. Mex., Fireman Paul Peck asked the town council to pay him for the ten days' work he did after he was fired, explained that he was hard of hearing and did not understand he had been let go.

Not as a Stranger. In Xew Haven, Conn.. Judge James C. Shannon ordered an immediate mistrial when Juror Timothy Lyons fainted, was revived by Dr. Carl Y. Pantaleo. the defendant.

Trial Run. In Eureka. Mont., Pat Wager, candidate for town constable, went on a campaign tour of several bars, decided he was as good as elected, jailed three citizens, landed in jail himself for disturbing the peace.

Apple-Polisher. In Berlin. Germany, the Observer polled G.I.s about their favorite eating places, found one soldier who said he preferred Army food above all other, discovered later that he was a mess sergeant.

Innocent Bystander. In Los Angeles, after Yirginia Ekas, 21, rammed a patrol car three times, knocked down two cops, led police on an 80-m.p.h. chase, she was taken to the station, where she clawed and kicked her captors, bit a doctor, finally demanded: "What are you annoying me for? I never did anything to you."

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