On Schedule. In Bridgeport, Conn., Mrs. Margaret Dennis Warner, filing suit for her second divorce from husband George R. Warner, revealed that her charge of mental cruelty in the first divorce action had been right, after all, since her husband had started being cruel to her again the day after they were rewed.

Privation. In The Pas, Manitoba, Cree Indian Sam Umperville, 82, oldest resident on The Pas Reservation, looked about the room he was assigned to in St. Anthony's Hospital, then stalked unceremoniously out the front door, explaining testily, "There's no place to spit."

To Pay Paul. In The Hague, an appeal court heard the case of A. J. Broeren, who had been given his 13th jail sentence for stealing a motorcycle to get money to pay a private detective to prove that his twelfth sentence was a mistake.

Deck the Halls. In Milwaukee, after they had been consulted by an insurance representative for a local department store, University of Wisconsin botanists issued a general warning to several hundred anonymous purchasers of floral bouquets that, unknown to the store, the "autumn berries" in each bouquet were plain sprigs of poison ivy.

Secret Weapon. In San Pablo, Calif., Cab Driver William Myer and Filling Station Attendant William E. Van Meter reported that a gunman had robbed them of $20, handed them a fifth of whisky, gave them six minutes to drink it, thereby rendered them unable to tell their story to police for several hours.

Embraceable You. In Montgomery, Ala., after Motorist Lawrence Colley explained that the reason he ran 40 ft. off the road, tore down a fence and rammed into a tree was that his girl was "holding me too tight" and "I couldn't hold her and the wheel, too," Judge John B. Scott dismissed a reckless driving charge, fined Colley only for driving without a license and without license plates, remarked, "I'm convinced it could have happened as he said."

Little Pitchers. In Chester, England, after Robert Emrys Griffiths filed suit for divorce from his wife on the grounds that she committed adultery 16 years ago, Judge Emlyn Jones explained: "He did not want to bring proceedings until the children were grown up."

Deflated. In Hamden, Ohio, after their truckload of steel shavings dribbled out along the road, causing a dozen flat tires in several hours, Truckers Floyd Wiseman and Roger Eberts were fined $10 apiece by Hamden Mayor Chester Nickell and put to work with hand brooms sweeping nearly nine miles of highway.

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