Daddy Will Pay. In Tokyo, when he returned home after a day's work, Restaurant Owner Shizumasa Saito found two burglars waiting, was robbed of $420, discovered that in his absence they had bathed his twelve-year-old son and tucked him carefully into bed.

Fine Print. In Victoria, B.C., members of the public-library board wondered how to meet the conditions of the will of Benjamin William Pearse, who left them 175 valuable volumes on condition that "they be accessible only to people with clean hands who will use them as they deserve."

Speaking Frankly. In Milwaukee, after sheriff's deputies found him drunk in his parked car, bandaged his bloody nose, moved the car to a parking lot, turned on the heater and extracted a promise from him not to drive until sober, Morritz Lamberty drove 150 feet to a new parking place, was arrested and fined $150, explained: "When you're drinking, you're not always as smart as you ought to be."

Coin of Vantage. In Mt. Morris, N.Y., Mayor Craig Shurtleff sought reelection, wound up in a tie with Serafine La Delfa, sadly agreed to resign after Village Board Trustee Ray Brady flipped a coin and declared La Delfa the winner.

Battle Tested. In Lewiston, Idaho, a second woman's organization to promote harmony in the Democratic Party was organized after a disagreement split the first one in two.

Honored in the Breach. In Pineville, La., after listening to Mrs. Nona Vance's charge that Handyman Elmer A. Gallipau had failed to paint her house and Gallipau's countercharge that the hair-restorer treatments she gave him in payment had failed to grow hair. Judge Jack Holt called it a draw, assessed both equal shares of the court costs.

Deviate. In Shanghai, after he had tried to win two girls by posing as a wealthy capitalist, Lo Heng was judged "hopelessly corrupted,'' expelled from the Communist Party.

Fluid Assets. In Tokyo, Jokichi Tomoda, 81, dean of Japanese pickpockets, settled down in jail after his 37th arrest, explained why he had never opened a bank account: "Everybody walking the streets is a prospective bank to draw money on."

Vane Effect. In Wilmington, N.C., charged with drunkenness the day after he had been convicted of drunkenness and ordered to leave town, John Cartwright, 50, explained: "Every time I raised my good leg off the ground, the wind would come and spin me around; I had to take a drink to steady myself."

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