Insurance. In Los Angeles, Mrs. Louella Juarez, 35, sued to recover $6,024.20 after the dance studio with which she signed up for a "lifetime" of lessons said that she needed another "lifetime" course really to get the knack.

Process of Elimination. In Baltimore, given an address where a woman said her husband was gambling, police raided a poker game, arrested six men, got another anonymous call from the woman informing them, "You didn't get him," raided three more games at her direction and arrested 25 men before the calls stopped.

Poet's License. In Annapolis, Md., the Board of Commissioners asked for an immediate court ruling on whether Henry J. Laque Jr. was violating the zoning laws after Laque ran a newspaper ad reading: "The law don't allow no junk yard here/ But we don't care what the law don't allow/We run a junk yard anyhow."

Logician. In Lexington, Ky., asked in court how he came to crash into another car, Isaak Jones, 27, replied thoughtfully: "I probably got too close to it."

Strictly for the Bird. In Long Beach, Calif., Betty-Jo Michael got visitation rights at a predivorce hearing after her husband successfully bid for the custody of their pet parakeet, Pretty Boy, commented: "I figure that if I can keep the bird she'll come back to me."

Acid Test. In Coral Gables, Fla., after it ate through gasoline tins, dissolved the plaster in the ceiling and began dripping on a sergeant's desk, police quickly dumped 55 gallons of confiscated moonshine stored in their attic.

A Girl's Best Friend. In Taipei, Formosa, after winning a $15,000, 17-carat diamond ring in a lottery, Navy Lieut. Lin Shou Ming received 37 proposals of marriage.

Government Surplus. In Washington, D.C., Representative Harley O. Staggers of West Virginia received a letter from a constituent reading: "Sir: Would you please be so kind as to send my son an official of the U.S.A. for his school work?"

Business As Usual. In Columbus, Ohio, having summoned the law to arrest a Peeping Tom, Stripteaser Geraldine ("Sequin") Garner proudly presented police with an autographed nude picture of herself, inscribed: "What the Peeping Tom was peeping at."

Occupational Fatigue. In Evansville, Ind., police arrested Lawrence Lee Edwards on charges of burglary after they arrived at a business office, found one end of a screwdriver wedged in a battered cashbox, the other end held by Edwards, who was sound asleep.

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