Revival of the Fittest. In Paris, Leon Sellier, in a fit of pique, flung his girl friend out his fourth-floor apartment window, landed in the hospital with cuts and bruises after she bounced off a canvas awning, ran back upstairs, cracked him on the head with a wine bottle.

Basic Equipment. In Arkansas City, Kansas, police booked Lawrence Schulte after they picked him up for parole violation, found in his pocket a note: "Hand over all the money you have because I have a gun."

Target Practice. In Nanaimo. B.C., Kathleen Pojee was fined $12.50 for speeding after she twice slammed her car into a police cruiser that flagged her down, explained to the cops that she had mistaken their car for one driven by her husband.

Testimonial. In Hawthorne, Calif., Donald Lee Summers was sentenced to 60 days in jail when he showed up drunk for his arraignment on an intoxication charge, grumped: "I came to California for the hospitality, and this is what I got."

Through a Glass Darkly. In Sacramento, Calif., William Jaglas was arrested when he was found inside a shoe store after closing hours despite his explanation that he broke the window when he leaned against it, crawled inside to wait for the owner's arrival in the morning.

Assigned Duties. In Izmir, Turkey, asked by the judge while on trial for committing six burglaries if he really had a record of 50 previous offenses, Suleyman Senaylar replied: "My profession is to steal; keeping count is the job of the police. That is what we pay them for."

The Critic. In Los Angeles, police looked for the thief who walked up to a movie house, poked a pistol at Theater Cashier Kay Lee Stafford, said: "I didn't like the movie. Give me everybody's money back," and walked off with $212.

Public Enemy No. 2. In Tokyo, Yoshio Yusawa, serving a six-year prison term for 397 robberies, asked to have his case reopened, explained that he had only committed 37, but confessed to the larger total when police asked him: "Why not be Japan's No. 1 thief?"

Combined Operations. In Phoenix, Ariz., after he held up the House of Jazz and stuffed $270 in his pocket, John Tillman was slugged with a blackjack by Owner John Giardina, cracked with a baseball bat by Waitress Phyllis Dixon, smacked with a steel chair by another waitress, punched in the jaw by Giardina's brother, bashed on the head with a beer bottle wielded by a patron, arrested when another customer called the cops.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.