54-40 or Fight. In Secaucus, N.J., Tavern Owner Henry Krajewski launched his second consecutive bid for the U.S. presidency, announced the main plank in his 1956 campaign platform: annexation of Canada.

Spoiled Sport. In Baltimore, spotted walking along the street at night clad only in shoes and a string of pearls, Bonita S. Schapiro, 25, was hustled off to the station house with a coat thrown over her, complained moodily to the cops: "Every time I try to have a little fun I get into trouble."

Medical Opinion. In El Paso, ex-Private Ygnacio G. Herrera gave himself up 14 years after he deserted from the Army, explained his disappearance during World War II: "I deserted because my mother was sick. She's better now."

Hard Times. In Grand Rapids, Mich., police looked for the burglar who broke into Hendricks Supply Co., knocked the dial off the safe but failed to open it, broke into an office next door but failed to force the strongbox, rifled a cigarette machine in a nearby service station, made off with a few coins.

Fall Guy. In Milwaukee, uninjured when his auto swerved off the highway, Eugene Cromwell stepped out to survey the damage, fell into a soft. limestone quarry, broke his arm.

Bridge of Sighs. In Fairview, N.J., Bartender Albert Sotta rushed moaning into police headquarters, gestured wildly for the desk lieutenant to hand him a pencil, rapidly scribbled a note: "Help me--my tongue is caught in my false teeth!"

Primal Color. In Memphis, Bookkeeper Clara Bell Olds cashed a $6,000 check for her boss, ran off with the money, explained after her arrest: "When they shoved all that long green through the cage, I just couldn't resist it."

No Exit. In Maysville, Ky., the 76-year no-escape record of the Mason County jail stood intact after police made a surprise search of the building, confiscated four hacksaws, three knives, found prisoners sawing away at the bars.

Feature Length. In Fresno, Calif., Charles R. Fleeger, 22, had to reschedule his wedding after he was sentenced to five days in jail for knocking out his fiancee during an argument about whether to go to a local movie.

Nocturne. In Billings, Mont., Perry Whitfield was sentenced to two years for a $1,570 jewelry store robbery, despite his plea that he steals because he is affected by the changing phases of the moon.

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