Monday, May. 28, 1956
Bracket. In Newhall, Calif., practicing a fast draw with a holster strapped to each hip, Harold J. Erickson grabbed for his six-shooters, squeezed both triggers before unholstering, shot himself in both legs.
Jubilee. In Miami, arrested for drunkenness after his release from jail, where he had just served 50 days, Robert Perry Crawford explained: "A man's got a right to get drunk when he's celebrating one of the happiest days of his life."
Short Order. In Baltimore, accused of creating a disturbance outside the accident ward of Johns Hopkins Hospital, Adam Zamencki blurted to a cop. "You are nothing but a public servant and I want service," was served a $25 fine for disorderly conduct.
The Young Lions. In Cavite, P.I., City Lawyers' League President Homero Alberto asked police to crack down on high-school students who carried guns to class, complained: "The students use the firearms either for threatening their teachers or unduly commanding the respect of their fellow students."
In the Rough. In Toronto, the Telegram carried a classified ad: "MUST SELL OR GET DIVORCE: six irons, putter, three woods, one bag, a pocket full of balls."
Dress Rehearsal. In Pasadena, a man turned in an emergency police call, breathlessly asked for directions to St. Luke's Hospital, explained: "My wife is expecting a baby next week and I want to make a dry run."
Bench & Bar. In Milan, Italy, disguised behind stolen sunglasses, a natty grey flannel suit and a bogus beard made from shaving-brush bristles, Convict Francesco Boschi joined a party of visiting attorneys, calmly walked past saluting guards in the first successful break from San Vittore Prison in eleven years.
To Each His Own. In Edinburgh, Scotland, the National Bible Society, citing an error in translation of the Lord's Prayer in the Negro republic of Liberia, said that the phrase, "Lead us not into temptation," was interpreted by Christians there as "Do not catch us when we sin."
The Lean Years. In Fort Worth, Cafe Worker H. A. Bristow, 72, got a divorce and a $1,000 community-property settlement after he told the judge that his 79-year-old wife took his paycheck every week, gave him only $1.50 for bus tokens, retrieved the tokens and doled them out to him two a day, forced him to buy coffee from coins he found while sweeping the cafe, whacked him on the shins with a broom when he tried to see his children by a previous marriage.
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