How Do I Love Thee? In North Hollywood, after his wife stabbed him because he ordered her to bring him a can of beer when he awoke one morning, James W.

Troxell told police: "She just flew into a fit of wifely affection." An Ounce of Prevention. In Baytown, Texas, Mrs. Daniel E. Ellis took her husband for a drive while he was recuperating from a heart attack, lost control, bounced down a steep embankment, crashed into a truck and a cement mixer at the bottom, was uninjured but had to return her husband to the hospital for treatment of lacerations, explained: "I was driving to relieve him of any physical strain." Intermezzo. In Los Angeles, Mrs. Mary Feynman won a divorce after testifying that her physicist husband's Congo drums were the only things that could take his mind off mathematics, told the court: "He begins working calculus problems in his head as soon as he awakens. He did calculus while driving his car and lying in bed at night. The only thing that would distract him was his African drums." Handicap Game. In Tokyo, preparing to pay a bet lost on the U.S. All-Star baseball game, Stars and Stripes Employee Don Schuck went into training for ten days, lost 8 Ibs., then golfed his way through wind, sleet and hail to the summit of Mount Fuji (12,389 ft.), losing 27 balls, taking 1,275 strokes, and after 10 hr. 50 min. holed out into the mountain's 2,000-ft.-wide crater.

Two for the Money. In Ocala, Fla., after forgetting to collect the customary $3 handout when he was discharged from Marion County jail, Will Lowe wrote to ask for the money, gave his new address as the jail in neighboring Lake County.

Flaming Youth. In Pingtung, Formosa, arrested for repeatedly trying to burn down his dormitory, 20-year-old Student Chen Wei-juo told police: "I wanted to destroy it because I can't have late dates with girls as long as I live there." Moral Victory. In Corning, Calif., Warren B. Woodson complained he was unjustly fined $11 for passing over a double line, retaliated by giving the police department 60 days to move their headquarters from the building that he owns.

Horse Scents. In Cologne, Germany, the famed "4711" eau de cologne company obtained a court injunction to force Manure Collector Karl Kolsch to remove his telephone number--4711--which he had painted in 20-in.-high numerals across both sides of his horse-drawn fertilizer wagon.

Vive la Difference! In Guadalajara, Mexico, El Informador carried a classified ad: "BEDROOMS SETS, SINNING ROOM PULLMANS. Manufactures Price Garanted."

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