Reconnaissance Patrol. In London Returned Traveler Richard Jones, in a letter to a newspaper, informed Britons planning trips to Russia that bathtub plugs are "virtually nonexistent," advised them to take along their own.

Plus c,a Change ... In Paris, a nationwide survey among French schoolchildren revealed that their No. 1 hero is still Napoleon.

A Place in the City. In Wilmington, Del, Traffic Engineer Robert A. Mitchell, hardened to frauds on the nickel parking meter, figured that the woman who shoved in her wedding ring must have been really frantic.

The Wanderer. In Wolverhampton, England, rush-hour shoppers laughed merrily at Samuel Morgan, shouting as he chased a crowded trolleybus down the main street--until they realized, after he had swung aboard, that he was the driver.

The Nouveau Poor. In Los Angeles, Bookkeeper P. Marjorie Wright, 31, arrested on suspicion of embezzling $20,000, said she spent about $5,000 on clothes and a car, but burned the rest for fear her friends would suspect her if she spent more.

White Water. In Brisbane, Australia, the Postmaster General's Office hastily announced that it was just using up wartime envelopes as an economy move, after citizens indignantly asked how come their government telephone bills were arriving in envelopes stamped, "A Still Tongue Makes a Good Citizen."

New Twirl. In Brawley, Calif., Farmer W. I. Fifield complained that a man had helped himself to three big watermelons from his patch by coming in, scooping them up, and taking off in a helicopter.

Crime & Punishment. In San Antonio, Sheriff Owen Kilday, faced with heavy repair bills on TV sets smashed during county jail riots, warned that he was going to crack down hard if any more sets were damaged: prisoners would not be allowed to watch Dragnet or The Lineup.

Footnote. In Dubuque, Iowa, Newspaperman Seymour Kopf, about to publish his book How to Keep Your Job and Be Happy Despite It, wrote an editor: "I analyzed why I, as a newspaperman, had been fired so often. I set down many pointers in the book, and if they are followed, anyone can keep his job forever. At the end of this week, I myself am being fired."

Summer Relief. In Tipton, Calif., after Marie Schonhair decided to smoke out the bees buzzing around her house, firemen put out the $3,000 fire, reported later that the bees were gone.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.