Final Score. In Milwaukee, investigating the hanging of a 51-year-old man, Assistant Medical Examiner Joseph Damiani found the shortest husband-to-wife suicide note in the city's police history: "You won."

Retirement Plan. In Brussels, Jean-Louis Damon, 27, serving six months for robbery, got ten months more after he sent threatening letters from jail to his holdup victims, ordered them to deposit money in his savings account.

Tenderfoot. In Keelung, Formosa, customs officials noted Sailor Pien Ching-an mincing along in a most unseamanlike manner, stopped him, found carefully packed into his padded felt shoes 30 watches worth $800.

Troop Movement. In Huron, S. Dak., the Salvation Army borrowed from the State University's Extension Division a 16-mm. educational film entitled Let's Have Fewer Colds, returned it with a note: "We were unable to use this film because of the flu outbreak in the corps."

Overdrive. In Tenafly, N.J., Edward B. Mallory, 71, who claims to have driven 30 cars some 600,000 miles in nearly 50 years, voluntarily surrendered his driver's license because he felt his eyesight "inadequate" in view of "the general mental index of the average driver of today."

Contact Lens. In Milwaukee, Foundry Worker Daniel J. Brozoski, 38, sued his wife Erna, 44, a social worker, for a divorce, charged that she not only kept psychoanalyzing him, but went around telling their families and friends her conclusion--"a super-duper neurosis."

Under Power. In Cape Jervis, South Australia, H. S. Hanks and friends took his homemade 12-ft. dinghy out for the first time, threw the shiny new 7-lb. anchor overboard, were towed over a mile before one of them cut the line leading to the hungry shark that had swallowed it.

Soaked. In Filey, England, driving along the coast road, Mrs. Margaret Webster jammed on the brakes, jumped out of her car, rushed down onto the beach, dashed across the sand, splashed through the surf, dragged ashore two shipwrecked yachtsmen and helped haul the capsized yacht onto a rock, then staggered back to her car to find that she had been tagged for illegal parking.

Copper Head. In Blind River, Ont., after the town council booted out the chief of police, Mayor Albert Neil recalled that the chief had charged one council member with supplying liquor to minors, had booked another member for violating a dog bylaw, and that generally "the council feels the chief has shown lack of cooperation."

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