Household Goods. In Milwaukee, a for-sale ad in the Journal read: "Washer; wringer; new encyclopedia; shotgun; wedding dress."

Hot Temper. In Aix-en-Provence, France, Joseph Bertrand, 46, angered when his house was awarded to his wife in a divorce suit, burned it down.

Guidance System. In Wrangell, Alaska, the Sentinel reported that "Libby Desmond was fined $10 for not walking a straight line down Front Street."

Odd Man Out. In Youngstown, Ohio, the Vindicator carried a help-wanted ad: "WANTED, 5 boys to sing in quartet. Must be willing to sing."

Emergency. In Indianapolis, a boy walked into the children's division of the Central Library, yelled at Librarian Elizabeth Simmons: "Hey woman, get me a book on manners."

Firebird Suite. In Detroit, James Scales, 60, confessed that he set fire to the home of his 42-year-old beloved, explained: "I courted her with music, but she busted my guitar over my head."

Design for Living. In Knoxville, Tenn., an employment ad in the Journal read: "Young married couple desires young lady to stay in home as companion to wife. Prefer one who sings Hillbilly songs."

The Frisk. In Manhattan, Louis Rivkin, part owner of a Broadway clothing shop, measured a man for a suit, felt a bulge in his hip pocket, remarked,"You've got a gun in there, haven't you?", lost $900 and eight suits.

Working Committee. In Peterborough, Ont., when the mayor asked an opinion on the ideal size of a group to study a proposed junior college project, Alderman Ross Dobbin volunteered: "Three people --one dead and one out of town."

Inside Man. In Cincinnati, Police Sergeant Edward Harvey spotted three hot-rodders lining up for a drag race, quietly pulled up alongside, joined in the fun, tapped his opponents for speeding after he won the race.

Smashing Success. In Pittsfield, Mass., after her partner, flashing an intricate step, sailed his foot up and into her face, Judy Mack kept on dancing in a teen-age dance contest, won third prize and a fractured nose.

Curb Service. In Oklahoma City, E. G. Albright discovered how the city makes $125 a day in an overtime-parking crackdown: he parked his car at a spot where there was no meter, returned a short time later to find a ticket on his windshield, a meter in front of the car.

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