Visiting Fireman. In Middleton, England, a psychiatrist advised a father--concerned because he had caught his twelve-year-old son smoking in bed--to put an ashtray on the boy's bedside table.

Wig Latin. In Minneapolis, Municipal Judge Dana Nicholson proposed that Minnesota's lower courts be put on a circuit basis, offered the slogan "Gavelo donatus, circumire paratus" and provided his own translation: "Have gavel, will travel."

Limited. In Bethlehem, Pa., a freight train blocked a street crossing for half an hour, annoyed motorists until they tinkered with a coupling so that the train finally pulled away minus 20 cars.

Solitaire. In Niagara, Wis., Marshal Joe Rousse, driving the village squad car, crashed into another car at an intersection, arrested himself for failing to yield the right of way, went to a justice of the peace, testified against himself, paid a $25 fine.

Slow Reader. In Louisville, the public library declared a week's amnesty on fines for overdue books, got one back (Boswell's Johnson) that had been checked out in 1907.

The Outlaw. In Cleveland, Ernest Denardy, whose driver's license was suspended in January, was back in court--for jaywalking.

Magnet. In Chicago, Car Thief James Reynolds led police on a wild chase that ended when he smashed into two police cars in front of the city's central police building.

Full Stop. In Milwaukee, Virgil Martell, 33, waited impatiently at an intersection for a light to change, finally stepped from his car, picked up a stone and, with major-league accuracy, shattered the red glass.

Double Indemnity. In Usen, Germany, when Heinrich Bormann tried to hang himself from a branch overhanging a creek, the branch broke and he was drowned.

Elementary. In Brooklyn, a suspicious housewife discovered uncooked rice on the floor of her husband's automobile, dragged him into court, where he was indicted for bigamy.

Local Customs. In Duncan, Okla., a reporter, stopping people on the street to see how many could name at least one of the first ten Amendments to the Constitution, was told by one woman: "I really wouldn't know; I just moved to Duncan recently."

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