Suspended Purpose. In New York City, while a man perched high on a girder of the Manhattan Bridge, Patrolman Joseph Piotrowski climbed toward him, pleaded successfully with him to come down, later asked, "Why did you do it?", to which the man replied: "Because it's my job, damn it; I'm an inspector in the Department of Public Works."

Dial M for Methodism. In Tucson, Ariz., Mrs. Robert Poston dialed a telephone number, heard a man's voice pleading for help, called police, who dialed the same number, got the "Dial-a-Prayer" service of the Catalina Methodist Church.

The Rice Paddy Rag. In Peking, Radio Peking, propaganda voice of Communist China, played a song called Mother, I Want to Go to the Countryside to Train Myself with Physical Labor.

You Can't Go Home Again. In Lyndhurst, N.J., Guy Pezzolla stayed home from the polls because of a cold, later had to console his wife, a candidate for Republican committeewoman, who lost by one vote.

For Easy Reference. In Lancaster, Calif., Joshua Hietize Baussloipezkuffbergarzime disclosed in court that he sometimes used the alias Joshua Hietize Baussloipezkuffberg.

Cost of Living. In Palencia, Spain, Angel Gonzalez Garcia, 36, threw himself in front of a passing truck, which crashed into a wall, ran in front of another, which rolled down a 20-ft. embankment, escaped from the two angry drivers by jumping on a nearby horse, galloping to a railroad bridge where he tied a rope around his neck and tried to hang himself, was cut down breathless but unhurt by passersby, ended up in jail charged with damages to the trucks.

To Wit to Who? In London, Birdwatcher F. W. Hornsby was lauded for reporting the spring's first cuckoo cry, later bravely confessed in the Times that he had been taken in by a neighbor's clock.

Jungle Counterpane. In Oakland, Calif., a hobo arrested in the Southern Pacific Railroad yards was carrying an electric blanket in his bindle.

Order in the House. In Fort Worth, Mrs. Forest C. Barber, suing for a divorce, charged that her physician husband set up a written system of household rules, imposing fines on her of $5 if she failed to awaken him in the morning, $2 for not having coffee ready on time (and $5 for complaining), $5 for failing to cook supper any day except Sunday, $2 for not cooking it well, $5 for complaining about having to cook, $5 for not having their child in bed and the TV set off by 9:30 p.m., $50 for tirades.

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