Landslide. In West Hollywood, Fla., voters elected a mayor, defeated on the same ballot a proposal to incorporate the town, with the result that Frank Polage is the new mayor of no place.

Reversed Charge. In Draper, Utah, the state prison received a long-distance telephone call from Escapee George Stone, who said he had called "just to see how things are."

Ivory Tower. Near Nalbari, India, the referee of a soccer game, caught in a spectator riot, escaped on the back of an elephant.

Slakedown. In Plainville, Conn., Police Chief Louis Datoli noticed two youngsters drinking soda pop near a headquarters vending machine, asked a third bystanding kid why he was not drinking also, was told: "Those were the only two dimes I had."

Spaniel in the Lions' Den. In Chicago, Arsonist Isaac Wilson completely destroyed the Christ Temple Church of the Pentecostal Assembly of the World, later offered the explanation that he had been refused permission to take his dog to Sunday services.

Bobbery. In London, the House of Commons passed a bill under which the fine for insulting a policeman is raised from -L-2 to -L-10.

Whetstone. In Youngstown, Ohio, when an amusement-park age guesser overestimated Mary Bowie, 33, she whipped out a switchblade knife, spat threats at him, had to be disarmed by police.

Ghost Writer. In Augusta, Ga., Merchant Sam Bruce made a quick phone call to a bank, learned that it was quite all right to cash a check written by Blue Monday of Dead Man's Alley, Langley, S.C.

Sinker. In Burnet, Texas, Dave Hawk took a commanding lead in the state bass-fishing tournament, reached shore, was given a summons by a game warden for catching too many fish.

Record. In Dayton, called upon to read the minutes of the last meeting of the Third Street Baptist Church's Sunshine Circle for Young People, substitute Secretary Sharon Parker stood up, said "20 minutes, six seconds," sat down.

Hedge Hopper. In Hot Springs, Ark., when State Trooper Glen Minton stopped a speeder and asked him why he was displaying on his windshield the campaign stickers of two rival candidates for municipal judge, the man said: "With my traffic record, I can't afford to be wrong."

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