S.P.Q.-Hour. In Miami Beach, a 1,600-year-old Roman coin was collected from a parking meter.

Dean Swift. In New Hamburg, Ont., Walter Haas was arrested for careless driving, explained that he was only trying to catch another speeder to lecture him on safety.

So Sang Freud. Near Ahmedabad, India, when his bride went home to her mother after a quarrel, a husband--known only as Vala--went after her, lopped off his mother-in-law's nose, carried his wife away.

Common Census. In Douglas, Ark., Lee Edward Whitney, 84, decided to move away, changed the town's population from 1 to 0.

Entrance Requirement. In Wilmington, Calif., arrested for auto theft, William P. Loudermilk explained: "I only took the car so I could pick up my buddy who's getting out of San Quentin."

Spin-Off. In Hillisburg, Ind., Mrs. Burl Carter, operator of a family-owned furniture store, accepted a used living-room set in part payment for a new set, sold the used furniture for three frogs' legs and a quart of gooseberries.

Scales of Justice. In Dallas, the city paid $43.25 in medical bills for a garbage collector named C. E. Haddock, who stepped on a catfish, punctured his foot with a fin, was treated by a physician named D. C. Gill.

Golden Yeggs. In Afferden, Holland, Willy Croonen kept finding his truck's tires deflated, stopped blaming the neighborhood children when he learned that a pair of geese liked to peck at the valves, cool themselves in the escaping air.

The Slaked & the Dead. In Columbus, Wis., state beverage tax agents found a moonshine still in a farm milkhouse, arrested Gilbert Werner, Democratic candidate for Jefferson County coroner.

Honeymoon. In Niagara Falls, Ont., the city hall ran out of marriage licenses.

Mutiny on the Bounty. In West Bountiful, Utah, Republican Leone Newton filed to run against her husband, Democrat Charles A. Newton, for precinct justice of the peace.

Fit to Pinch. In San Benedetto di Verona, Italy, a circus crowd watched Strongman Giuseppe Armandola take on four members of the audience who came forth to challenge him, saw Giuseppe flatten two of them before the others overwhelmed him, soon learned that the winners were cops and Giuseppe an escaped convict.

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