Flatfeet to the Floor. In Philadelphia, Police Commissioner Thomas J. Gibbons said reckless cops cost the city $15,000 in damage to patrol cars over a six-week period, suspended 35 patrolmen for unsafe driving.

Man with the Golden Rule. In Hong Kong, detectives spotted Chiu Chun Kai piously walking about with a Bible in his hand, opened it, found seven packets of heroin hidden between its covers.

Pull. In Jacksonville, Donat Yelle was licensed to practice dentistry in Florida.

Arrest Assured. In El Centre, Calif., Gerald Urbach, haled into court for jaywalking, fled into the street, had put four blocks between himself and the judge when Patrolman Ben Sample picked him up for jaywalking.

Without Sugar. In The Bronx, N.Y., after bookkeeper Sylvia Youngerman went to a bank for a $2,000 payroll and to a restaurant for an order-to-go, a thief confronted her, snatched a sack out of her hand, fled with a container of coffee.

Overplayed. In Vineland, Ont., the Garden Centre summer stock theater was destroyed by fire hours after the opening of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.

Stool Bus. In Swinton, England, Motorist Ernest Baker smacked into a bus, blanched when twelve uniformed policemen came piling out to book him for careless driving.

Off Duty. In Evansville, Ind., a thief stole an eight-foot painting of Christ from the Camp Reveal chapel, carried it out past a neon sign flashing, "He watches you every minute."

Folly Forge. In Nampa, Idaho, a teenager picked a name at random from 7,500 listings in the telephone directory, tried to cash a check signed K. R. Isbell in a store where the assistant manager is K. R. Isbell.

Freestyle Loser. In Maldon, England, Leslie Gurnay dived into a swimming pool, rescued a drowning boy, was charged 18-c- to change his wet clothes in the pool bathhouse.

Adult Western. In Wichita, Kans., Denver Bland won the Democratic nomination for Sedgwick County sheriff, soundly defeating Candidate J. Wyatt Earp.

Stacked Plane. In Hialeah, Fla., Charles R. Morris, who reportedly made a $100 bet with a man in a Hialeah bar that the plane the man was about to catch would be late taking off, was arrested for making a hoax phone call to Eastern Air Lines reporting a bomb on the aircraft.

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