Traveler's Aid. In Cuernavaca, Mexico, there is a funeral parlor called "Quo Vadis?"

Hung. In Des Moines, Richard S. Carter was excused from jury duty after he drank a can of beer that was introduced as evidence in a trial.

Heater. In Memphis, Cleburne H. Hitt paid a $21 fine after he walked into a restaurant, ordered a cup of coffee, stirred it with the barrel of a pistol.

Octave Stretch. In Columbus, after completing a four-year prison term for stealing a saxophone, Milton Lee Littleton was sent back to the pen for one to 15 years for stealing an alto saxophone.

Bowled Over. In Denver, Donna Doss, 24, paid a $15.50 fine for careless driving because she ate her breakfast while driving to work one morning, had a collision with another car, spilled a bowl of Cream of Wheat all over her hair, face and clothes.

Mane Demand. In Umtali, Southern Rhodesia, caddies at the Hillside Golf Club demanded an increase in their fees after two lions were seen near the clubhouse and a lioness padded down the sixth fairway.

Filter Lucre. In Kumanovo, Yugoslavia, Slavko Mitroviski found an imported Greek cigarette on the floor of a movie theater, used half a box of matches in an unsuccessful attempt to light it, unrolled the stubborn fag, found in it a tightly rolled U.S. $1,000 bill.

Gumshod. In Knoxville, Tenn., Curtis E. Thomas, arrested for drunken driving, insisted that he had only taken a little whisky for a toothache, paid a $50 fine when the court learned that he had. no teeth.

All Angles. In Derby, England, Police Sergeant Joseph Shorthouse stood up to give testimony, said: "I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and anything but the truth."

Mess Kit. In Visalia, Calif., police looked for a man who walked into Tootle's 216 Club, ate and paid for a steak dinner, then ran out the door with his knife, fork and spoon.

Self-Expresso. In Tea, S. Dak., a group of citizens founded the Coffee Club.

Ultimate Test. In Cooksville, Ont, Gregory Taylor was acquitted of driving with ability impaired by liquor when the constable who arrested him testified that Taylor twice walked successfully across a 2-in.-by-8-in. plank over a 12-ft. sewer excavation.

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