Perma-Shave. In Columbus, an Ohio penitentiary barber broke regulations by allowing New Prisoner Tom Campbell to keep his mustache--a black, neatly sketched tattoo.

Overdone. In Hammond, Ind., an ad in the Times said: "BURNS FUNERAL HOME --We Saute Our Town!"

Piccadilly Circus. In London, when the R.S.P.C.A. complained that she kept a mouse in a cage with a python, Pet Shop Owner Phyllis Cooper showed up in court with both animals, won dismissal by proving that they were practically buddies, provoked the prosecutor to comment: "In no other country would a mouse invoke the protection of the law."

Brawl for Love. In Memphis, haled into court on a disorderly conduct charge, Lewis Boyd said he had only been fighting with his "husband-in-law," explained that his opponent was his girl friend's husband.

Thigh Noon. In Clinton, S.C., when Joe Spillers and Edgar Ballew tried to see who could beat the other to the draw, neither man got his pistol out of its holster, each shot himself in the leg.

Loss Leader. In Dallas, Minister Robert Raible wrote in the weekly Unitarian: "The sermon next Sunday will be an introduction to sin, which I hope will stimulate our congregation."

Safety Break. In Ventura, Calif., Rodney Poston won $5 from the Kiwanis Club for "exemplary safe driving," used it to pay a traffic fine.

Traffic Hazard. In Grosse Pointe Farms, Mich., the city council politely asked policemen not to double-park while writing out parking tickets.

The Enemy Within. In Abilene, Texas, Postman Phil Burkett tried to deliver a letter to Postmaster Clyde Grant, was bitten twice by the postmaster's dog.

Boarding Party. In Fayetteville, N.C., Lloyd Hall was charged with drunkenness and assault with a deadly weapon after state police found him standing in the middle of a highway, swatting passing cars with a long plank of wood.

Redemption. In Columbus, John Voltz, defendant in a civil case, was ordered to pay $86.31, later called the judge to ask if he was entitled to trading stamps.

Silver Anniversary. In Yonkers, N.Y., three thugs held up a branch bank, made their getaway carrying nearly $50,000 in two shopping bags decorated with birthday candles and brightly colored letters that said: "FIRST NATIONAL BANK IN YONKERS--A Gift for You to Celebrate our 25th Year in Yonkers."

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