High Maintenance. In Chicago, Conrad Hernbrott's estranged wife let the air out of his automobile tires, took the tubes out of his TV set, locked him out of his room and changed the lock, posted a sign in the corridor of his rooming house reminding him that he hadn't made his support payment.

Material Witness. In Hialeah, Fla., a lawn party for female employees of the J. R. Handbags of Florida, Inc., makers of alligator purses, broke up in screams when a 35-lb. alligator lumbered out of a nearby thicket.

Joint Account. In Ottawa, Ont., Edmund Killeen went to police headquarters to bail out his wife, who was charged with bootlegging, was arrested for being drunk, had to be bailed out by his wife.

Ready to Serve. In Birmingham, the city zoo had to call off a celebration in honor of a long-awaited antelope when the animal arrived drawn, quartered and packed in Dry Ice.

Mainline Cut. In Los Angeles, Ralph Armijo confessed to police that he was working his way through barber college by peddling heroin.

Weaver v. Weaver. In Elko, Nev., arrested for drunkenness, Evan Harvey told the judge: "A friend advised me to treat a spider bite with alcohol and I drank too much."

End of Digging. In Erie, Pa., a funeral procession consisting of a hearse, a black limousine and two mobile units filed somberly from radio station WLEU to the river, dumped in 7,000 rock 'n' roll records.

Stock Items. In Louisville, in hot pursuit of a rampaging escaped bull, a police car radioed a terse description of the fugitive: "Tan with four legs."

Out of Position. In Cincinnati, when Patrolman Charles L. Gellenbeck took out his false teeth to exhibit them, the chief detected liquor on his breath, had him fired.

Heavy Industry. In Montreal, Canadian National Railways filed suit for $30,265 against two men for taking up two miles of railroad track and selling it for scrap.

Collection Agency. In Amherst, N.Y., Norman Granville was arrested on a larceny charge when police discovered that he was building an addition to his home with 1 ) a tractor that had vanished from a tractor sales company, 2) $125 worth of plywood missing from a nearby home under construction, 3) two automobile wheels taken from an auto agency.

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