Down the Draught. In Rutland, Vt., the post office received a letter addressed to "Santa Claus'' and signed by "Cindy" with the message: "I'll leave you a glass of ginger ale, and if you're still thirsty I could leave you two quarts of beer. Remember, my house is the one with the beer."

Keyed Up. In Richmond. B.C., learning that a church was to be built near her mink farm. Mrs. Anna Sierpina hotly objected on the grounds that "unfamiliar noises" like hymn singing might cause her mink to devour their young.

Exposed. In Wuppertal, Germany, police are looking for a passer-by who was offended by a bronze sculpture of a nude woman outside the city swimming pool, glued and feathered her one night, left a sign: "One hundred frying pans could have been made out of this."

Time for a Change. In San Francisco, following an unsuccessful bid for mayor, Mrs. Joan Jordan filed a list of campaign costs including "$7.50 for baby sitting."

Passing the Buck. In Hong Kong, sentenced to six months in jail for making bank-note plates in their apartment, Wong Shum and Lam Hin-shun explained that the plates were for Christmas cards.

Cornered. In Los Angeles, arrested for trespassing when police found him crouched in a salvage yard, Richard Evans explained: "I was looking for rats for my cat."

Political Points. In Leros, Greece, City Councilman John Kontsanellos was sentenced to eight months in jail for sprinkling the roads with nails to keep opposition voters from driving into town to vote against him in municipal elections.

Without a Trace. In Dallas, a burglar robbed a tavern, made off with 252 cans of beer and 174 breath-cleansing chlorophyll tablets.

Give Away. In Mineola, L.I., Edgar Woods, 69. was arrested for disorderly conduct after snarling up traffic at a busy intersection dressed as Santa Claus.

The Merry Men. In London, TV Star Alan Wheatley, who plays the villainous sheriff of Nottingham on the Robin Hood show, complained: "Children climb trees around my house and fire arrows at me as I walk in the garden."

Mayday. In Lausanne, Switzerland, alarmed by the number of attacks on taxi drivers, police considered a special pedal for cabs that, when pressed, locks all the doors except the driver's, stops the motor, releases a capsule of suffocating gas, blows the horn, starts a flashing light on top of the cab.

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